Neither dungeons nor dragons

I’ve been a TTRPG enthusiast for more than 10 years now. I’ve tried many different systems and have even tried my hand in designing my own.

D&D was one of those games I played with different groups under different circumstances. Starting with 3rd edition (well, 3.5), then 4th, Pathfinder, and then 5th.

A trend I failed to notice at first was that the burden of buying the thick books and learning them was always assumed to be on the Dungeon Master. Players learned by doing whatever the DM told them, and sometimes borrowing (or pirating) the books.

This led to very authoritarian tables where everything the DM said was law. And any questioning of this authority would be punished in-game and at the table. The DM held the secrets of the game, and often they would place a physical barrier at the table to ensure this was clear. They had a story they wanted to tell, and they didn’t want the players to get any delusions of grandeur, so the first unwritten rule is that the rules only apply when the DM likes them. Of course, this adversarial relationship cultivated some resentment. I’ve watched games devolve into a competition of who gets to cheat the most in order to have a sense of agency.

I don’t want to talk about the toxic players, but I don’t want to seem like I’m ignoring the problem. Sure, I’ve met kind DMs, whom I still regard as friends, but I’ve cut ties with much more people. The truth remains that the game attracts some shitty people.

I saw how the community does a great job at highlighting the positive aspects of the hobby. And as I tried to learn more about the game the internet influencers made me feel I was playing the game wrong. There was only one way to find out.

So, about a year ago I decided to give D&D a chance. I wanted to read the books and learn the rules. I wanted to help new players learn the ropes without the influence of the jaded gatekeepers. Without the maze of third-party content, half-baked house rules, and habits held from previous editions. And I most certainly tried.

That’s when I learned the game, by itself, is unplayable. The Dungeon Master’s guide provides very specific and detailed rules for some things and leaves other things to the imagination. The game mechanics are fine tuned for a certain type of experience (mostly boardgame-like dungeon looting), but the game invites you to engage in open-world adventures with lots of character interactions. The game encourages DMs to make the game their own, but also burdens them with decades of lore. It’s a jumbled mess of archaic wargaming and modern roleplay. The reader is presented with pages upon pages of detailed game mechanics, followed by “or just do whatever, it’s just a game, tee hee!” quips.

Here’s the thing: They don’t have any incentive to polish or complete the game. D&D is to tabletop role-playing games what Google is to web search, so consumers don’t know about the thousands of well-thought-out games. On the other hand, they have an many incentives for keeping things vague. For starters, they don’t want to enrage the toxic fandom they’ve cultivated. As the saying goes, “nerds hate change.”

The result is that modern D&D is not a game, it’s a vibe, a tradition, a mood.

For players, it’s something they, or someone they know (or saw on TV) has been doing for 30 years.

For DMs, it’s something handed down to them by their dad, or a friend their dad’s age, along with a binder full of house-rules, a thumb drive full of dubious PDFs, a handful of miniatures, and the assurance that they’ll get to do whatever they want, and they’ll get free pizza in return.

Every revision of the game comes with neat ideas for players, and less resources for DMs. It’s a catalog with neat pictures of cool characters doing awesome things. It’s not marketed towards DMs, even though they do most of the spending.

That’s because DMs don’t need convincing; the toxic DMs get a captive audience and a weekly power trip, and the kind ones get a chance to please their friends, and a vast majority are just pressured into DMing.

It’s all a scam. They rely mostly on word-of-mouth, influencers, and product placement to make people want to join this lifestyle. New books published every so often entice old players to return by promising cool new features and more powerful characters. These players need DMs. These DMs need to cough up the money to buy the content the players want. 

The publisher doesn’t care if it’s an abusive DM, a reluctant DM, or a cheerful DM They don’t care what those DMs struggle with, if they play by the rules, or what third-party tools they must explore to make their shit game playable. It doesn’t matter as long as they consume, and that makes for a bad community, and a bad gaming experience.

D&D is to tabletop RPGs what Monopoly is to bard games: It’s the one everyone things of first, it’s the one people who don’t know better prefer to play, they keep coming up with stupid gimmicks, one player must do extra work, it’s not fun, people often end up arguing, and adding house rules usually makes things worse.

If you’ve made it this far, you probably expect some advice from me. How about don’t play D&D? If you must, don’t ask anyone to DM it, do it yourself and see what it’s like. If you’re an experienced DM… Why? There’re better games out there! Show some self-respect!

I'm too old for Splatoon, but I can't stop playing.

I've been hella busy lately, so here's a quick update on Splatoon:

So. being the bona-fide Nintendo fanboy that I am, I was quite exited to hear about Splatoon. But I was cautiously optimistic. I thought it had the potential to be a hit, but it would certainly not be for me.

Then they released the "testfire" stress test/demo, and I had to give it a try. Not only was the game lots of fun, but I was actually quite good at it! Then there was another test, and I was kicking ass! So of course I wanted the game!

Nintendo had made a formula in which casual players could be good at a competitive first person shooter! And it's an awesome game!

Then came the updates. They added new weapons, and new maps, each more complex and harder to master. And that was a problem. I was falling behind. I was great with the newbie weapons, and I knew the newbie maps like the back of my hand, but the kids with the fast reflexes and the zero responsibilities started gaining an advantage. Things get so intense I end up with a headache if i play too long. Yep. it's no longer a relaxing activity.

So here I am, with twelve-year-old kids running circles around me. Aching to play with adults. I tried for about 6 months to form a regular "squad". For a few weeks I had a "regular group", and as we played it would turn out they were little kids too.

To this day, none of my friends play the game, either. Not even those who have it!

So I think the problem with this IP is that Nintendo made it too focused towards millennials. And it's a shame because it's a great game. I still have hopes that they perfect the ranking and matchmaking algorithms so that I don't have a stroke playing this game.

Mario Kart 8: The hype stops here.

I love Mario Kart 8. I come home from work to play it, and stay up night playing. It's great fun, and I'm very happy it's helping drive Wii U sales. Sure, they changed a few things but I see why. You can now only hold one item, which keeps the game more balanced. They practically took away battle mode, but I don't miss it.

Oh, and the graphics are amazing. The game is truly great.

It's also a great disappointment.

FIrst, I want to talk about the anti gravity gimmick. It's pretty cool, but poorly implemented. When I first heard about it, I couldn't stop thinking about the possibilities, but every second idea was for Rainbow Road. Here you have a race track suspended in the air above the atmosphere, just begging to be turned into a multicolored möbius strip of death. Instead? They took all the magic away and turned into a spaceship-themed track. Yuck.

They made only ONE möbius strip track, and it's a "circuit" track with trees and bushes on both sides. Seriously. Upside down trees. It's horrible. Almost every track that features anti gravity segments turns the scenery around as well, so you get no sense of defying gravity.

Also, very rarely is it used for running along walls, and even more rare is racing on the actual ceiling. Instead they tacked it on (in the last minute, it seems) to a few steep hills or sharp curves where normal karts would have done just right.

One thing that bothers me too is bikes, they look so weird in anti-gravity that I always use karts.

Here's a few more missed opportunities:

• Turning a few SNES tracks into möbius strips, or fold the entire track so half of it is now the ceiling.
• Anti gravity mayhem in the Wii's half-pipes. Turn a few of them into actual pipes.
• Steep climbs when weaker vehicles slow down, followed by steep drops where you speed up uncontrollably. Shy guy falls does this, but it needs to happen more often.
• More straight tracks. In MK7 there were several tracks, including Rainbow Road, where there were no laps. In MK8 there is only one that I can remember. How cool would it be for a track to start in a series of underground water-filled tunnels, then climb along a gigantic beanstalk beyond the clouds? 
• Loop-de-loops! Not a single one!
• A three-sided möbius track where each side is one lap. Technically, it's only one side but you get my drift.

Online play is still a bit of a pain. You still have to open "rooms" and hope your friends show up. What if your friends are offline or playing with random players? Not my problem!

The entire experience until you get to race is pretty bad too. The navigating through menus is insufferable, especially if more than player is present.

Finally, the game is pretty hostile towards the gamepad. Why force the game into split-screen mode for a two-player race when there's two screens? How about a spectator mode where the player uses the gamepad screen and others can watch from a third-person perspective on the big screen?

Hopefully the last few concerns can be patched, and even though the unimaginative track design is inexcusable, I would gladly pay for a couple extra DLC "cups". I know the game will get patched for Amiibo support, so get to it Nintendo! Make it perfect!

My Egress from Ingress

Some of you might have heard of this game called Ingress. Lemme tell you about it, from my biased point of view.

The concept is fascinating, really. Google overlays an MMO over Google Maps. Meaning that in order to move your avatar in the game world, you have to move your smartphone in the real world. "Augmented reality" they call it. They tie places of interest in reality to "portals" in-game. You have to go to those portals and claim them. It's fun. Then you trace lines along these portals, and when you form a triangle it's filled in your faction's color, successfully claiming that turf for your loyal faction.

The game features minimalistic graphics, and gives verbal cues to most actions, so that you may play while you walk. Headphones are suggested on the load screen.

"Hold on, m'homie" you may be wondering. "Do I have to get off my couch for this?" you may ask. Yes. Yes you have. You have to get out there, and if you're serious about it, or if you want your faction's approval, you have to get in your car and spend some serious gas money on it. Now, before you run away, I assure you, the game ties in-game locations to places of interest. So you should be leaving your house to see cool places! Every time you play it's an adventure! At least in theory. In reality you will find most portals are garbage. Somehow Google thought it would be good to let users submit portals in order to mine the data and profit by measuring human traffic... but the result was players who wanted more portals started reporting bus stops, lawn ornaments, signs and such as portals, and Google played along. You will spend your day running from uninteresting location to uninteresting location.

"But it sure is worth it, right?" You may ask next. "Capturing all those portals and claiming the land for your faction sounds satisfying!" Sure. Sure it is. Until some jerk from the other faction shows up and claims them. Portals usually last a day or two. You're not meant to keep them forever. It takes a while to realize Ingress is a plate-spinning game. The idea is to have as many going as possible, not to have them all. This can be extremely frustrating if you're outnumbered, or someone in the opposing faction is targeting you or even cheating.

And boy, is there cheating! It's a well known fact that some players play from their couches, spoofing coordinates in a PC running an Android emulator. Targeting large fields and remote portals. These people never seem to get banned. Google provides a nice "intel" page that players may peruse to plan their trips. Some players, however, use forbidden apps that mine this system for extra information, this allows the cheater to virtually stalk other players and harass them. Of course, if you ask these cheaters, they will say they're just hardcore and insist it's OK to break the rules as long as you don't like them.

But then there's those who don't cheat the game, but still have an unfair advantage, and use it to troll other players. I can think of many examples, but some may come off as whiny, so I'll skip to the worst. There is an actual police officer that actively plays while on duty. Pretty much funding his Ingress addiction with taxpayer dollars. He will use his badge to get to hard-to-reach places and will use his uniform to intimidate others. If that doesn't make you want to flip a table, I don't know what will.

"What about the community?" I'm assuming you asked. Well they're OK. You'll meet fun people, and may even organize fun expeditions. But then there's the stalkers, the faction-switchers, the spies... then there's the roleplayers...

Google has made a point to give the game an RPG feel by adding a "backstory". They gave names to the factions and have even established recurring characters that come up in social media posts. Some players play along and that's fine. I'm a fan of RPGs myself. But this is a game that takes place in real life. And it's freaking scary when people do it as part of their regular lives. Some take the grudge between the factions too far and make threatening posts and such. It creates a very hostile environment.

So basically it's everything I hate about an MMO, without any of the things I like about MMOs. Eventually I got tired of coming home late because I had to spin so many plates on my way. I got tired of blocking the creepy players. I got tired of trash talking. I got tired of reporting fake portals. I got tired of visiting lawn ornaments and road signs. I got tired of the endless notifications. I got tired of being antagonized by fucking Robocop. I own many games that are far better and require far less effort. If you need me, I'll be playing Tetris.

Outdated Review: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D

When the time came to write the review for Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D, I asked myself: "Self, what do Downcast readers expect from this Outdated Review™?" To which I answered "what readers?" So I'll just post a slightly amusing anecdote accompanied with my impressions on the game.

We're talking about a game that was first released in 1998. I'm going to spare you gameplay-specific details because you've probably played it already. In case you haven't, I suggest you Google it for the details, but you should at least know this: The original was critically acclaimed as the greatest game ever, and many believe it still is. The game also introduced many gameplay mechanics used to this day.

I never really played the original. I never owned a N64, and when I finally found someone to lend me one (I think the owner already had a GameCube) I decided I'd just watch as my wife played it. You see, she's not much of a gamer, but when she likes a game, she gets very OCD about it, and she doesn't mind spoiling the game for others. Hell, she doesn't even mind spoiling it for herself. But I did watch the whole thing, even the obsessive gold skulltula hunting.

As I recall, the N64 graphics were always ugly, I guess the system's much hyped antialiasing only served to make everything look like a nauseating blur. But the game wasn't particularly famous for its graphics, sound or special effects. It was simply a great game. It had lots of fun things to do, and that magic that only Shigeru Miyamoto can produce. Another thing that made the game very memorable was the music. The Lost Woods theme is even catchier than the Super Mario Bros. 2 theme (Tetris theme B still reigns supreme, though)!

The game was fun enough I was satisfied watching someone else play it, only pitching in on occasion to help solve a particularly tough puzzle.

Now, if I tell you, "they took the greatest game ever, updated the graphics and frame rate, added touchscreen menus, motion-sensing controls and high-res, widescreen, three freaking dee graphics!" it would be a pretty simple way to sell it to you. But was it as simple as that? No not really.

I really want to tell you this is a perfect game. But there are a couple things they didn't get right. I tend to leave what I didn't like for the end but I figure that might leave you with a negative impression, and I really want you to want this game, so I'll start with that.

I think one of the things I didn't particularly love was how the game was ported over to a handheld. Forget the graphics, sound or controls. A handheld game needs a certain degree of accessibility if it is to be played on the go. They went through all the trouble of adding the sheikah stones (or n00b stones as those of us who grew up on Halo call 'em) but they couldn't add an auto save function? You have to remember to save your game every once in a while, which truly shows this is a game from the nineties, and then when you load the game you always start on the same place, and have to walk all the way back to where you were to continue.

This is only a mild annoyance, the game actually has an advantage over the console in that when you close the system it goes to sleep mode, but what if my battery power runs out, or I drop my 3Ds and the cartridge pops out?

Regarding the 3D effect I think it is fantastic. Let me give you a few in-game examples. When you go to Lake Hylia and head towards the scarecrows, it will happen that you will be running then Link will jump and roll because there is a sudden drop you didn't see. This doesn't happen in 3D. You can see the fluctuations on the ground even when the texture and shading is identical throughout. This is particularly useful when riding, as Epona doesn't like that kind of jumps. When the princess drops the namesake instrument in the moat, it took my wife about 5 tries to get it because she couldn't quite line herself up; this doesn't happen in 3D because you can tell exactly where it is at the bottom.

The only problem with the effect is that at times you can feel the camera slightly focusing back and forth when you stand still in awkward positions, and sometimes the camera wobbles when going up stairs which can be dizzying when the 3D is on.

The game also features gyroscopic controls, specifically used to move the camera about and to aim long-ranged weapons, much like in Face Raiders. I find this absolutely brilliant. Just aim and shoot! There is one problem though; the same Face Raiders has: moving the system is tricky when playing in 3D.

So you have three options for aiming:

• Disable 3D and aim with the gyroscope by slightly skewing the system.
• Disable the gyroscopes and aim with the analog nub in 3D.
• Hold the system like you're playing Face Raiders, and rotate your entire body when aiming in 3D

I still can't understand why they couldn't just have an option to have the 3D temporarily disabled while gyroscoping! If you've ever fired a weapon you may have noticed one tends to shut one eye anyway. Just add a neat "blink" transition effect and bingo!

Now regarding the graphics, this is where the grievances end. To me the game is beautiful. Sure, the polygon count is almost the same as the original (in order to conserve the gameplay geometry) but the graphics are still beautiful. They smoothed and redid the textures so everything just pretty even up close.

No, you can't count the hairs on link's head. No, you can't see up his nostrils. No, you can't smell the grass. But what you see is still really pretty (except for some of the NPCs). The nasty anti-aliasing is gone. The frame rate is smooth. The colors are dreamy. Just staring at the sky, the sunset, the moon, the stars and the sunrise is magical. If you hear someone telling you the graphics are outdated, please smack 'em on the back of the head and tell them 201d said to STFU.

Then there's the fact that it's now widescreen and almost all of the data from the HUD has been moved to the bottom screen.

Speaking of which, another innovation is the touchscreen controls. These are pure genius. They took the original's cumbersome pause menus and put them on the bottom screen. While playing you will see the area map, and you can tap different "tabs" to pause the game and bring out the different menus from the original, which have been slightly improved. On the GEAR menu you can switch swords, shields and tunics, plus it shows the different key items you've earned (stones, medallions, etc.). On the MAP screen you can change floors and see some extra map information. On the ITEMS menu you see all other usable or equippable items. Note that boots are now selected on the ITEMS menu, rather than GEAR menu, so they can be assigned to a button to be changed on the fly (making the Water Temple 98% easier).

Just like in the original you can bind items to buttons that do not have a set function. This time around B is your sword button, A is the context button, L is for... uh... "L Targeting” and R is for the shield. That leaves Y and X to customize, plus they added two icons on the touchscreen right next to the buttons that you can also customize. On the opposite corners of the screen there’s a "camera" icon and an icon permanently bound to your ocarina.

It would have been nice if they implemented some of the 3DS' features such as StreetPass, but they would probably feel tacked-on or entirely disrupt the balance of the game, so at the same time I'm glad they didn't.

In general the game is loads of fun and certainly still relevant. If you noticed, all my complaints were regarding things that could have been added. Nothing was changed for the worse, nothing was taken away. So those 100 out of 100 reviews it got back then still apply here. If you've played the original, buy if or the nostalgia, if you haven’t, buy it because you're missing out on the greatest game ever.

Outdated Review: 3D Classics: Exitebike

If you own a 3DS and you're reading this before July 7^th 2011, forget about this stupid blog and go download the game! It's free until then. If you don't, well, run and buy a 3DS! This game is really neat!

You've probably heard or even played the original so I'm not going to bore you with a 26 year old review (talk about outdated!) If you haven't, well, Google it, goshdarnit! Thousands of reviews have been posted over the ages, including gameplay videos!

What you might not be able to see in Google, though, is the awesome 3D effect accomplished in this game.

In terms of menus, you get a pre-game main screen with a high-res logo, a catchy tune and three options: Start Game, Records, and Options. When you hit Start Game you see the original splash screen (but with a checkered background). The options there are still Selection A, Selection B, and Design. In Design mode it reverts to the pre-game 2st century graphics to allow making tracks easier, and trust me, it is. It's also fun. You have 32 slots to save them and you can rename them. Truly awesome, too bad you can't share them online.

The real retro goodness occurs, of course, in Selection A or B modes. It's hard to describe (screenshots work better) but they literally just turned a 2D side scrolling motocross into a 3D masterpiece that still carries all the 8-bit nostalgia you'd get from a straight up emulator!

I strongly suggest launching this game with the 3D off. Originally what you see is a game adjusted for a wide screen. The graphics do not appear stretched or resized even though clearly the 3DS screen is of a higher resolution than a NES display, all you get is some extra track on the sides to fill the wider display. The gages and timers on bottom remain the same with some extra data thrown in. The magic occurs as you adjust the analog 3D slider, the track leans back accordingly without the slightest hint of smoothing or antialiasing or anything beyond 8-bit graphics in terms of color or resolution (even though it's clearly happening). Since now you can now see the horizon, you get to see more of the stadium, and even the sky with clouds.

The game plays exactly the same and the sounds are loyal to the original, including the dreaded "OVER HEAT" screech. Since higher pitched 8-bit sounds travel better over the air, you get a very loud experience, causing people around you to turn and look at the sounds that bring back pleasant memories from their childhoods (or annoy the heck out of them).

The game still carries a lot of replay value. As a kid I used to just jam on the gas button and aim for the big ramps. Now that I understand what is going on, I adjust my landings, manage my boost/heat ratio and focus on getting high scores. It's so much fun.

Even if you're not the early adopter kind and you miss the free promotion, I still recommend you pay for it.

Review: SUPER Street Fighter IV 3D Edition

Let's take this outside!

I still can't believe I've been able to play all these wonderful games on a new system this soon! Two weeks after I acquired my 3DS with Ridge Racer 3D, my wife got me a copy of Super Street Fighter IV 3D edition! Just like RR, I had been wanting to play this game for a long time, and hadn't got a change until now.

My most recent Street Fighter experience was Street Fighter Alpha 3 on the Dreamcast. I had played SFIII on the arcades once or twice as well as a couple different "Versus" installments. When SFIV came out I was dying to try it, but there was no way I could justify the purchase of a next-gen console, besides, to me it would feel like a waste if I didn't acquire a proper high-definition display for it. Well, I did try SFIV on an iPhone a few weeks before the 3DS came out, but it was a sad experience I'd rather forget.

My first impressions on SSFIV as a sequel to SSFIII (not as a 3DS port) were all favorable. I think it was all very nicely done. The thing that made the biggest difference to me was the quality of the game's localization. All my previous SF experiences involved characters shouting taunts or narrating their own moves in Japanese, with some rather sloppy text dialogues. This time around all characters were voiced in English (with proper accents, even!) and only resort to Japanese when using karate terms or such. Most of the voices are spot-on, few are way off, and some are just OK.

The other thing I noticed is that Dan was not as silly as usual. Yes, I'm a Dan fan. To me he is the greatest character in video game history. I'm a very casual SF player anyway and until recently, I'd only play the AI, so I could afford to play any character I chose. In the age of online multiplayer, Dan has gained a new purpose: If I'm going to lose, I might as well drop a few taunts before I go down. I really wish he had retained some of that awesome voice over-acting from the Alpha series, as well as the infamously annoying rolling taunt, but I'm just happy that he's back.

During online matches I always pick Dan, I presume I'll never get to the higher levels and if the matchmaking works, I should only fight people who are as god with their character of choice as I am with Dan. The only problem is that I encounter many players who are obviously more experienced but seem to have reset their accounts only to torment us newbies.

Now, regarding SSFIV3D as a port (rather than a sequel), I must say I'm very impressed. The only compromise I noticed was that the backgrounds were static, and some of the elements look like cardboard cutouts, especially in Dynamic 3D mode. They might have slightly reduced the polygon count on characters, but you can barely notice it on the smaller screen. None of these changes affect the game play, in fact, the game developers have stated they used the same code for this port, and it definitely feels like so.

There might have been some changes regarding online play options, but what else do you really need besides versus? The game has a decent matchmaking service, and you can also have other players challenge you locally when playing in arcade mode. All other changes from the console versions were necessary because of the change in platform. At least they didn't have to steamroll the game like they had to do for it to fit in an iPhone!

First change was in the control options. Now, before you go on about how the only way to play being an arcade stick: Shut up. The true hardcore honed their skills with a SNES controller when there were only eight characters in the roster. Capcom brought back this classic controller layout (using the shoulder buttons for the high kick/punch input) and aptly named it "Pro" mode. As an alternative, they added "lite" mode, which splits the touchscreen in quadrants, each acting as an extra button (10 buttons, total); by default this uses the same scheme as Pro mode and assigns your character's super combo to top-left, ultra combo to bottom-left, and two special moves to the right panels. You can then go and customize all 10 buttons to your liking, assigning any punch or kick, actual special moves, or even super combos.

The idea behind this was to make it more accessible to players who might not love the 3DS button layout, casual gamers or people new to the series. It might make players too powerful, not because of the ease of use, but because Lite moves are instantaneous; this affects the game's delicate balance.

If I had it my way, I'd have an intermediate control mode, in which the character actually goes through the motions in real-time at the slowest speed at which the move would actually work while you hold down the button. This way you can't have annoying little kids spamming sumo smash all over the place.

Luckily, you can always opt out of "Lite" mode as well as deny requests from challengers using a different control scheme as you. Everybody happy!

They added a rather amusing StreetPass feature and are even sending out periodic announcements via SpotPass. There is an achievement-based medal system and you also unlock different icons for your profile as you progress. Definitely not selling points, but nice to have.

For those wondering how the 3D works, well, it just does. You can play with the traditional camera angle, where the characters and backgrounds look a little nicer thanks to the extra depth, or you can switch to dynamic 3D mode. While using the latter, the camera assumes a third-person perspective from behind your character, but at a certain angle so your character never eclipses your opponent and you can clearly see where your punches and kicks are going. The added depth allows you to accurately measure distances and looks amazing in motion (try doing kikokens using the alternate 1 costume). This is the mode I use the most.

In conclusion, the game is not a handheld port; it's the 3D edition. It adds to the experience even if you've played the console versions to boredom. This title definitely gets the Downcast Seal of Approval.

Review: Ridge Racer 3D

Man. I'm so pumped! I'm playing launch games! How cool is that? I haven't felt like this since the PlayStation (one)!

I remember I got that console at launch with… some stupid XTREME sports title… but luckily, back in the day, the game store had a "no questions asked" warranty, so I beat the game in a week and returned it for being crappy. I exchanged it for Ridge Racer and later got Battle Arena Toshinden. There's no better way to break into the world of 3D (polygonal) graphics than with a racing game! Although, sure, I had already burnt some serious polygon rubber with Virtua Racing and Stunt Race FX… this time I could do it to my favorite tunes! Good times…

When I first read that RR would be among the launch titles for the Nintendo 3DS, I knew it'd be my launch title of choice. I had been wanting to play a RR game since Ridge Racer Type Four, the only title in the series I owned besides the first. I'd periodically play it up until a few months ago. Yes, it was that much appealing.

For those of you not familiar with the series, RR is what some call an "arcade racer" mainly because it does not focus on realistic physics or licensed vehicles. However, I believe it does not belong in the same genre as Outrun or Cruisin' USA (series that I also hold VERY dear). While some arcade racers let you do flips and barrel rolls or encourage you to drive into oncoming traffic, Ridge Racer wants you to dive three laps on a closed circuit within a small town at maximum RPM all the way; it's about precision driving, nothing fancy.

To accomplish this, the physics may be a bit off, but you only notice this when you're screwing up. For example, if you bump into a wall you see some sparks flying, but all it does is slow you down a gear or two. If you bump into another car, you may go into an involuntary drift, losing some precious RPM while you're recovering, just as when you over-drift a not-so-tough corner and start fishtailing like a Big Mouth Billy Bass on crack. When any of these situations happen, you may go "WOAH, WHAT'D JUST HAPPEN!!" but you'll pick right up and hopefully you may catch up with the other cars before the third lap is over. It never really spoils the fun.

When you're doing it right, though… man! Then, what you get is a hypnotizing symphony of pure drifting ecstasy. There's no hairpin turn you can't squeeze through at top speed. You're flying. It's awesome.

Just like in the first iteration of the series, you're racing against a bunch of other cars that get to go first and gain super speed relative to their starting position during the first lap. In other words, the cars don't bunch together, and you'll be catching up with car number one by the end of the second lap if you're really good. Again, not very realistic, but fun!

All locations and vehicles are fictitious, but very, very nice to look at.

Now, if you're not new to the series, you may be wondering what's new. Well, I don't know what's being going on since R4, but I can tell you they got rid of R4's "career/story" mode. I miss that. Grand prix in RR3D is just a selection of one to three events, with four races each, which unlock another group of events of a slightly more difficult category (faster cars). Most of these events will unlock new cars, new "types" of vehicles you may already have or nitrous kits for those you already have. By unlock I mean available to purchase with points you earn by winning races in the different play modes.

I found the vehicle selection quite disappointing. I'm about halfway through the game already and so far, cars aren't very different to each other in the first place, ending up in one of three drift categories. Also, you are only shown the machine's drift type and top speed. More data would've been really useful, Capcom! What'll happen is you'll grow used to a "favorite car", usually the one with the greatest speed among your drift type of choice, and it'll all be about racing all the tracks on it until you have them committed to muscle memory. Thankfully, there are a lot of tracks. I got goose bumps the first time I ran the track from the original Ridge Racer… in 3D!

I miss the R4 story mode, not because of the cheesy dialogue, but because in R4 you didn't get to choose your car. There were only a handful of tracks that you'd have to run in a preset order. But since you were running under a different team each grand prix, you'd have to re-learn them as the cars had very different handling styles and speeds. If you did well you'd unlock the best cars for that team, if you barely made it just would keep upgrading the "base" car, and if you did just OK, you'd unlock some neat cars as well, just not as fast.

I would have preferred a "more cars, less tracks" approach. But RR3D is still an awesome game, and I hope I unlock more unique cars as I play. Stay tuned for my endgame review!

Now that I've discussed Ridge Racer as a game series, I'll cover how it plays on this unique platform, the 3DS. First off, there is no online multiplayer, you only get local play and even then, there's no download play (so your friends must own the game as well). That sucks. However this game is mostly about losing yourself and becoming one with the track, I doubt human competition can add much to that, especially when said competition is composed of strangers or friends that haven't had a chance to hone their skills yet. The game will display avatars and names on top of all cars by default; I found it too distracting so I turned it off. You can use a Mii, a preset icon, or take a picture to display as your avatar.

The 3D graphics, in my opinion, add a lot to the game. You can make even more precise moves and it helps you understand the scene better when it gets too chaotic. Also, it looks prettier. This doesn't mean the game is unplayable on 2D mode. I suggest you use 2d (or the 3d slider turned way down) whenever you're not resting your elbows on a surface. When the racing gets too intense one tends to tilt the game and the ensuing "ghosting" may make you bump into a wall.

The sound is perfect and the announcer is as annoying as ever. To me the announcer eventually becomes white noise, but I don't turn it off (yes, you have the option) because sometimes it provides valuable information, like when an opponent nearby is using nitrous or someone is drafting you. The music is pretty neat, but not my favorite, even when some classic tunes are included either unaltered or remixed. I miss the jazzy beats of r4 or the twitchy techno beats of the original. I don't see myself burning a CD of these tracks to play on my car, as I did with the older versions.

The game also has a "quick tour" mode in which you tell the game how much free time you have and it prepares an event for you. It's really neat when you know you won't be having time for a full-on grand prix, but all you get from it, besides practice, is points. So far I haven't unlocked anything in this mode.

I like what they did with the StreetPass feature. Besides trading your records for the different tracks, players using this feature will exchange Time Attack mode data they have saved, so other players may effectively race their "ghost". You are awarded points just for finding a contact, and some more if you beat their ghost; it's automatically deleted once you beat it. The only problem with this is that not all players enjoy Time Attack mode (I personally don't find it as rewarding). So if you only play grand prix and never create any ghosts, all you're sending is a notification, your rankings and some easy points.

Before launch, many criticized the game because of Namco's reputation to have a Ridge Racer title ready for the launch of almost every console after the PS1. The truth is that, even though the graphics could be better, the game does not feel rushed at all. They did not forcibly tack on unnecessary system features (it does not use AR Cards, motion sensors, SpotPass, Game Coins or the built-in microphone) nor is it a direct port of a console game. No, it is indeed a fine tuned machine; worth every one of the 3,999 pennies it cost me.

I know I will still be playing this game when I'm through with many others, until they release a sequel, which will definitely push the system to its limits.

Review: Dance Central

Yesterday I had the chance to try (for a few hours) another one of Kinect's flagship titles, Dance Central. Now, I've already about written my opinion on this whole Kinect business, and before I go on, I'll say my opinion remains unchanged; Kinect is stupid.

Now that I've made myself clear, let me tell you, Dance Central was LOTS of fun, and I hate dancing. If I had the money, I'd buy this game (and an Xbox360… and a Kinect, I guess…) right away. The game has a very neat selection of music with songs of most danceable genres from the 70s up to recent hits. Besides that, the dance moves, themselves, were fun. I always played on easy mode, but I suspect even on harder modes there won't be any moves that'll require you to be a professional dancer or gymnast. The graphics were pretty, the menus intuitive. And well… That's it, there isn't much to say, I mean, c'mon, it's just a dance game. I don't think it is possible to lose at that game, though. Your performance is always perfect, OK, or something in between.

I also found navigating the menus a lot better. That the horrid Kinect Adventures. Rather than having you awkwardly reach for the mirror reflection of a button, you just extend your right arm. Point it upwards or downwards to scroll, and swipe left to accept. Swiping your left arm cancels the selection.

Now, you may be wondering how is it that I enjoyed the game so much even when I hate Kinect. Ah, well, it's simple. With Dance Central, you kind of forget the Kinect is (mis)reading your movements. You're having too much fun flailing and gyrating to reverse-engineer it. I did observe it, and I reckon the miss/hit ratio is around 3 out of 10. Meaning, three out of ten times, you'll just flail and it'll still acknowledge that as a successful move. So as long as you keep dancing to the catchy beat you should get a decent score.

Instead of forcing an avatar to mimic your movements, the game features pre-designed characters with different costumes and even voice acting performing a flawless choreography. Little icons, or flags, come up to tell you wish move comes next, and the only indicator you're doing wrong is that sometimes the character's arms, legs or hips are highlighted in red. A small "mirror" shows your silhouette making an ass out of itself. The whole thing is on rails, so if you fail, it's not as if you missed dodging a missile. You do your little jig one step at a time and in about half a second, it adds the corresponding points to your score, accompanied by a comment by the announcer and a flashy visual effect. How much flair depends on how close you were to the dummy, but you never really fail. It is because of this repetitive and predictive dynamic, that Kinect's slow response does not affect your enjoyment of the game.

In conclusion, the game is good. Get it of you can, and definitely play it with friends. Just be aware that the Kinect peripheral is going to be useless for any other kind of game.

Review: Crystal Defenders R2

I love it when a plan comes together. I think this is the main reason I wanted to be a computer programmer. There are very few things as satisfying as having an algorithm always return the expected result.

This is probably why I fell in love with Final Fantasy XII. The gambit system was designed to help minimize micromanagement so the player could concentrate on the overall strategy of the battle. One could for example automate healing and attacking and manually control the use of items or stronger attacks. I remember being advised to turn off gambits during boss battles when I read the reviews for the game. I took it to the extreme. I seldom entered commands manually, even for the group leader. I just loved moving across the "world" facing every kind of creature without having to alter my gambits. Sure, I'd have to make small tweaks for some bosses, but that's how Final Fantasy works. Good think they were no monster spawn points and the ones that were already there would stick to their territory, because otherwise I'd have reached level 99 on all my characters overnight (like I did on FFVII when I taped the "attack" button down and let the Midgar Zolom repeatedly attack me)

My first experience with this kind of mechanic was with Final Fantasy Tactics for the Playstation (1). As the name implies this game was all about tactical movement and planning. It had a feature in which you could set a character on "auto pilot", mostly intended to reduce tedious tasks (like healing). As soon as I learned of this feature I turned ALL my characters on auto. I'd carefully select which skills to teach my units, skipping the unnecessary ones to intentionally limit their arsenal. I beat the last boss with all my characters in auto.

Imagine my delight to find Square-Enix had released a tower defense game based on the Tactics franchise. I wonder how this game had managed to fly under my radar for over a year. Two episodes (R1 and R2) were released, but as far as I've read R1 is basically the first 30% of the full game and most missions are exceedingly easy. I suggest you go straight to R2; the game doesn't really have a narrative and you get more diverse units and more complex maps.

The game's mechanics may appear overly simplistic at first. Wave after wave of enemies march over a set path, and if enough of them get to the other side, you lose. You try to stop them by placing units around (never on) the trail that will take swings at the enemies that walk across their set range (it is hilarious when in motion). The enemies keep walking and never fight back, so your guys never die. The problem is that each wave is composed of more creatures, each faster, stronger or immune to certain attacks. Eventually one of those critters will survive the ambush and reach its goal, your stash of crystals.

That’s where the game stops being simple. All units cost money and you only gain money by defeating enemies, so you have to keep a tight budget (overspending in the first few waves will make it harder to acquire better units later) while keeping an eye on what kind of monster is next in case you need to adjust your defenses. After every round you need to decide whether to get more units, upgrade or place crystals nearby to make them more powerful. The "wave" does not start until you're ready and you can always place or upgrade units on the fly or by pausing.

I breezed trough about 4 maps (with about half a dozen missions, each), getting perfect results at times, until I hit this one map that always seems to burn through my crystals at a different point (so I never know what it is that I did wrong). I've spent all day at work thinking of different strategies and drawing maps on post-its for when I get home.

The graphics and music are all straight from FFTA2, but I don't mind because they're nice and the game was cheap.

I suspect the experience will be short but sweet, with some pauses on tougher maps. In order to stretch it out I'll try not to advance until I get a perfect rating.

In my opinion this game provides an excellent balance between casual and hardcore play. The mechanics are simple and gameplay in general is relaxing, yet it requires a certain level of skill; perfect for relaxing after work. So if this sounds like your kind of game and you have 8 bucks to burn, give it an try and drop me a line so we can exchange strategies.

Review: Sonic The Hedgehog 4: Episode 1

SONIC 4 IS HERE! I gotta tell you, man, I almost missed it! I came home after a long day of work, browsed through my RSS reader and lo and behold there was a review for Sonic 4! I was kind of shocked though, because it was the Joystiq review, probably one of the harshest critiques the game got. Anyway, I convinced my wife that it was a good investment (what would happen to my reputation if I didn’t provide my loyal readers with a timely review?), grabbed my debit card and rushed on to the living room to purchase 1000 points. Then I realized the game was worth 1500; a bit pricey if you ask me. I bought the 2000 points and kept the extra 500 for when episode 2 comes out.

Perhaps I would have enjoyed my game more if I hadn’t read that review (and that review only). As soon as I launched it I couldn't help looking for those faults they mentioned, and indeed I found them. Many of those defects, thought, were things that I probably wouldn’t have noticed or cared about.

Now, before I go into detail there’s one thing I want to clarify. Whether you love or hate this game is going to be directly linked to how much you liked the 16-bit iterations of the series, how much you liked the 3D versions, and how much you love Sonic the Hedgehog as a role model for humanity. Take, for example this Joystiq review: in essence their reaction was “dude, they got it all wrong!” I, myself am a total absolute Sonic the Hedgehog nerd. I know, in the bottom of my heart, that one day SEGA will rise from the ashes and obliterate Sony, Apple and Microsoft and leave Nintendo badly wounded (probably limiting themselves to release third party titles for SEGA consoles). I am POSITIVE beyond any doubt that Sonic would whoop Mario’s ass in a fight, in any setting, regardless of power-ups. That being cleared I’ll try to review the game from both points of view.

Consider what you expect from any other WiiWare title: A short, simple game with limited production value intended for casual audiences. This game clearly surpasses this. The graphics are in compliance with current standards for top-tier downloadable games. The music is catchy and the sound effects are appropriate. You get different saves and a leaderboards function. Controls are d-pad based, therefore extremely responsive. Use of motion controls is integrated in special levels, tilting the remote like a steering wheel emulating an analog joystick (to stop movement you have to return the remote to a horizontal position). This may take a bit of getting used to. You can opt to use the d-pad as well but you’ll probably appreciate the subtlety of analog control in harder levels. Gameplay itself is textbook platformer, you move left until you reach a goal, jumping to avoid obstacles and destroying any enemies that get in your way. If you’ve never played a 2D Sonic game then this is the end of the review, I recommend you try this one and then check out the classics. Goodbye.

If you have played any of the classics, consider what you would expect from a game titled Sonic The Hedgehog 4: A mascot-grade game that promises to return to the formula that made 1, 2 and 3 famous and shun anything implemented in further iterations (mainly 3D gameplay). Now that you have a very specific standard, it’s easy to see where the game does or doesn’t deliver. In essence the game IS good: It is fun and it made me happy. From the traditional title screen to the catchy tunes and familiar graphics it really is a heartwarming experience. Upon closer inspection you start to see some cracks.

Level design, sound effects, items and enemies are nearly identical to the previous games, especially in the Splash Hill Zone. But if the first three iterations had very similar levels, why shouldn’t this one? The tradition is to have the more original, perhaps darker levels later in the game, so I expect the next episode to start deviating from the cookie-cutter levels. Besides, you’d expect for them to intentionally pick the most popular levels and try to revisit them; this is a fan service game after all. In the end I was pretty satisfied and even though I have not played the game to the finish I expect a few surprises.

Sonic himself was a big disappointment. I had already prepared myself to the fact that SEGA refused to use the classic design and opt for the more “rad” version of Sonic designed for the 3D games. You know, long legs, more serious look, less cute? They claim they have redesigned the character and can’t go back. I can dig that. I was only mildly annoyed by the use of cel-shading (in-game and not in the title screen). What I didn't expect was the animation to be so crappy. When you press forward on the d-pad Sonic begins… walking. Seriously, SEGA, not even a light jog? A power-walk even? Sure, he speeds up in eventually (the fast-running animation isn’t perfect either), but since when does Sonic walk? This kind of walk/jog/run mentality only works when you’re working on analog stick movement! Take Metroid: Other M, for example, you press forward and Samus just sprints like her life depends on it! They sure know how d-pad movement works! Sonic only has three speeds: Static (and looking bored), running fast and running helluva fast.

Beside the animations, I have to agree with Joystiq on the physics being screwed up. If you were to determine the one thing Sonic games are about it’d definitely be speed, acceleration and inertia. The original formula is that you need to get from A to B as soon as possible. You are vulnerable while running but not if you curl up into a ball so it’s good thing to build up some speed if you’re uncertain of what might pop up on the way. You also need to build momentum to get through some obstacles like steep hills, loop-de-loops and even running up high walls at times. This is why they implemented the spin-dash move in Sonic 2; sometimes you didn’t have enough space to build up the necessary speed or it would just be no fun walking back for another running start.

Why on earth, then, does Sonic suddenly have enough force to accelerate even while walking STRAIGHT UP A WALL? My experience in casino zones tells me any “room” with no apparent exit, a flat floor and rounded corners is to be approached like a half-pipe. You run back and forth, gaining momentum until you’re able to run all the way up a wall and then you proceed to treat the rest of the room like a pinball table. I found myself in such a room, and seeing there wasn’t enough room to the left to get a good running start, I ran right (I chose not to spin-dash to keep control of my movement, just in case). Imagine my surprise when the blue hedgehog just kept running up and over a wall about 4 stories high. That is not just messed up, in a way it defeats the need of almost every other game play mechanic. No need to negotiate the terrain, just press forward!

Speaking of defeating game play mechanics, how about that homing attack? They thought it would be neat to include this move implemented in 3D games to facilitate jumping on enemies when there’s no real depth perception. Having this on the 2D version just makes it completely unnecessary to measure your jumps at all. Just press 2!

If you thought these would make the game ridiculously easy, the game now has a “world map” that lets you select any zone, and any of the acts you’ve already reached, including the bonus levels. There are some places where the platforming gets ridiculously tricky. Maybe they could have a feature in which Tails appears and beats the level for you!

Anyway, all these details can be justifiable to SEGA trying to make the game more accessible to both non-gamers and young children (I’m pretty sure my kids will have a blast). And, with the exception of the increased force, all other features are actually optional (you don’t HAVE to use the homing attack, and you can just tap A after finishing an act to go straight to the next in order) So, really, unless you’re the ultimate Sonic Nazi (or you work for Joystiq), there should not be any real issues so far.

Another aspect that was heavily bashed is the graphics. Allegedly the high-definition computer-generated graphics lack artistry and personality. I don’t know what they’re talking about, tough. I’m playing the Wii version on an old CRT TV. On a low-resolution screen the graphics look just as lovely as the classics: bright colors, 16-bit-ish parallax scrolling, dancing flowers and a sparkling ocean in the horizon. I remember reading some of the old school interviews with Yuji Naka, creator of Sonic The Hedgehog. He said when he came up with Sonic the idea was to make players happy. This game’s graphics made me happy. I say they got them right. If you ask me, classic games are just like porn, so I can imagine how too much detail could possibly ruin it to those unfortunate enough to own a big screen high-definition TV.

The sound effects are very loyal to the series and that made me happy too, but the music… I don’t now about the music. I feel just like with the music in New Super Mario Bros Wii, it’s good but not memorable. Maybe it’s because I already associate certain tunes to the brand. One thing I hated was the Dr. Robotnik Eggman (blegh) theme; it might have worked for a bonus stage or an ice cream truck, but it made me lose what little respect I had left for the good doctor.

I really liked the game and I know in my heart SEGA will iron out those little wrinkles by the time Episode 2 comes out.

Review: Metroid: Other M

Remember what I said about New Super Mario Bros. Wii and Sonic 4? About making sequels to 2D platformers that still manage to feel like they belong in this generation? Well, looks like I found the game that did it right!

But first, a little history! Back in the 8 bit era I never really got to play Metroid. I was familiar with the character and thought it was neat, but the game wasn’t appealing enough for me to go out of my way to play it. A couple of years later, a friend of mine was completely hooked on Super Metroid. I decided to sit down watch and I guess that first impression, entirely out of context, completely threw me off. All I remember was my friend running along a tunnel, stopping at a random spot, placing a bomb and crawling into the hole it made to go to another passage. I thought “are you expected to place bombs on every single floor tile in order to find stuff?” That sounded horribly boring, and the suspenseful music was not helping.

Skip a decade or two and I am playing the original Metroid on an emulator. I liked the game, but I have a very short attention span for 8 bit games. A couple years later I rented “Zero Mission” for the GBA. That’s when I decided I liked Metroid. Even though I didn’t play the original that much, the nostalgia was so intense! The ability to shoot diagonally made the game a lot more playable. I rented it over and over until I beat it and found most (if not all) of the secrets. Later on I tried the sequel, Super Metroid, but a slow emulator and the downgrade from 32 bit graphics threw me off once more.

About five years passed until I saw this video titled Metroid and Me: By Samus Aran on the Wii’s Nintendo Channel. They did such a great job at narrating the first games through Samus’ voice over actual gameplay video from the original games that I felt like the world’s greatest Metroid fan. I looked it up and watched the other videos and decided to go and buy it for myself on my birthday.

I am so glad I did, let me tell you why. Right out of the box the game sets the mood that makes Metroid games so awesome. The first few pre-rendered and real-time cutscenes not only do that, but they are also great at revising the story and giving you a quick tutorial of the game. Once you gain control you know it’s the real Metroid, none of that FPS bullcrap... but then, it IS 3D! Most of the time the camera will be aiming at an angle reminiscent of classic beat-em-ups, although zooming in and out and turning ever so slightly to enhance the ambience or to show a clue. You move left or right through a narrow corridor and you can move “up” or “down” to dodge projectiles or avoid obstacles. Of course the environment is not composed of ONLY corridors, there are open fields, elevator shafts, tunnels… yet the camera always seems to go where the gameplay feels natural using the d-pad. There is an auto-aim system that helps the 2d feeling, so even when the monsters are swarming from any and all angles, you only shoot up, down, left or right. Only in a handful of occasions the camera follows behind you, and it’s only for dramatic purposes. At any moment you can point your Wiimote at the screen to switch to 1^st person view from the point you were standing, just keep in mind you can’t move like this, only turn. This is useful to scan the room for clues, power-ups or hidden enemies. It is required, though, if you want to use missiles, as this is how you “lock on” to your targets, but after some practice you’ll be shooting missiles intituively as part of your run-and-gun routine. You can shoot and charge tour regular arm-cannon like this, using the cursor to aim manually which is actually fun when you’re not surrounded. There are times when you are forced to look for clues this way, and the game will stay on 1^st person mode until you find and zoom in to the clue, so far half of the time I never see it until I accidentally move the cursor over it and it beeps.

Besides the regular running, jumping and shooting they have added a couple of melee attacks. I’ve heard many hardcore fans complain about this but to me these are added tools and you don’t have to use them if you don’t like them. I love it when I accidentally pull one off and the game plays the scene in slow motion. BAM! Take that, space mutant!

Also, monsters no longer drop health and ammo, (which is totally absurd) instead you use something called “concentration” which is, I presume, based o the same technology that makes the suit appear out of thin air. As for health, when you’re about to deplete your last tank you can fully recharge it the same way, all you need is a relative safe place (nearly impossible to pull of during boss battles) so you’re NOT immortal. To heal ALL your extra tanks you need to find a save point.

What’s entirely new is the storytelling. Samus now has a voice, and this implies a personality. Many hardcore fans find it offensive that she turned out to be more girly than they expected. It didn’t bother me although I did notice it. Others complain about how she is now following orders to the point of being submissive. I believe this is a huge exaggeration; she decides to help a group of soldiers she already knows and respects because she cares about their safety. She follows orders in the exact way a (very smug) soldier would, in turn the other characters are clearly aware of her martial superiority and always turn to her when the going gets tough. Besides, the team of squishy soldiers with a “divide and conquer be killed attitude” actually helps the suspense and sense of isolation.

Another complaint I’ve heard is about how Samus has been sexualized. Yes, many admired the character for breaking the stereotype of the princess in peril or the bikini-clad barbarian. Yes, I think that is neat too. But no, this is no Bayonetta. As far as I’ve gone into the game she isn’t even nice to guys and barely even appears without her armor. The image of the young, voluptuous blonde in a blue skin-tight suit has been around for a while now, and while at times it seems the camera is placed a bit lower than necessary, it’s not done in a distasteful manner.

In conclusion, if you're already in love with the Prime series this may feel as a bit of a downgrade, but if you have any respect for Nintendo, Metroid, or classic gaming in general, you owe it to yourself to give this one a ride. You will have fun.

Review: New Super Mario Bros Wii

I just came to a terrible realization: I don’t really like Mario games… that much… I know, I know, I hate myself too. You see, Mario’s been like a father to me!

I remember reading the Super Mario Comics, watching the cartoons and even enjoying the live action movie as a kid, but I also remember sucking hard at the Mario Games. More often than not I’d get killed by the second goomba in level 1-1. I’d have a blast watching my brothers and friends play through the games over and over again, but it wasn’t fun enough for me to develop the hand-eye coordination required. When I was by myself I’d rather play Duck Hunt.

Still, when I heard of New Super Mario Bros. Wii I couldn’t resist it. I made myself believe I’d have a blast playing with the kids and bought is as soon as I could.

The game packs insane amounts of nostalgia, which makes it a lot more fun when you’re just watching. They took elements from all previous “true” Mario games and mixed them in perfect harmony, carefully shifting the influence towards the most popular titles while still feeling like a separate entry in the series. Level design is absolutely delightful. Control-wise the game feels very tight. My wife, who is a hardcore 2D Mario gamer, kept complaining they felt awkward at first but she eventually got used to them and proceeded to kick ass. Music was pretty good but I don’t find myself whistling any of the tunes like I still do with the classics.

I had lots of fun the first few weeks when I played with the wife. It was easier for me than the average Mario game and she was still getting used to the controls. On the other hand, playing with the kids was a pain as this is their first true Mario game; multiplayer requires a lot of patience although they did take some measures to avoid the weakest link slowing down the team. Eventually I was too slow to play with the missus and too fast to play with the offspring, but that’s ok because by then I was already tired of the game altogether. They all still play occasionally, so I guess it does have some replay value.

In retrospective, what I believe happened was that Nintendo was successful in turning Mario into a game selling machine for our generation, and that didn’t have much to do with the games he starred. So if you really love 2D Mario games, this might be the game for you. If you love Mario (search your feelings, hey may not be your father) maybe you should rent or borrow first, better yet, drop by a friend’s and get some multiplayer on.

Monster Hunter Tri

A few weeks ago a friend posted about this game that’s supposed to be really neat on an internet message board. Besides the fact that he seemed pretty exited for it, what really caught my attention was the fact that it was for the Wii.

Up until that moment I had been on a quest to find a worthwhile “hardcore” (click here if you’d like to know why I use quotation marks) type game, mostly because pretty much every game I’ve owned for the last 10 years or so has been pretty “casual”. Well, there was the Force Unlashed fiasco, but that’s a blog post of its own. Anyway, I became very interested in the game and, being flat broke and actually unemployed at the time; I decided to carefully research the game before investing.

Game play videos were easily available from people who uploaded themselves playing the demo on YouTube, however streaming and compression make it impossible to tell if the graphics were either good or great. Also, they were all talking about how much fun the game is, but it’s just no fun watching someone else play. I also, for the first time, went to Metareview to gather information. While I don’t trust their weighted average calculation, I found it really handy to quickly scroll down a lit of reviews from all over. There were a few bad reviews, in the sense that they gave the game a low score, but then after I read them I’d still buy the game. It also reminded me a bit of Phantasy Star Online, which I own but couldn't afford online play at the time.

The concept is pretty simple, take your regular fantasy game, remove all the story and pointless stuff, and focus on combat… no, wait, focus on BOSS BATTLES. Yeah. Every quest in this game feels like an epic boss battle. As for character progression you get rid of skills and experience points and make it all about finding the right stuff for your next weapon or armor upgrade. Most of these items you carve out of your foes’ twitching bodies with a hunting knife.

Translate this into game play terms and what you get is loads of fun. Just like in a boss battle in an RPG you have to save your game, fight, die, reload, prepare and try again. Besides learning the creature’s attacks, movements, weak spots, and “tells”, it’s also good to know what kind of items to bring along or if your current armor/weapon will be effective. All quests have a 50 minute time limit (some may have less). You are given a handful of “supply items” and a goal. There are different places quests take place in, each with its own climate and ecosystem where different creatures interact differently. Also each creature has its own personality and they don’t always come in the same exact size.

There are different weapons from which to choose, each with its own strengths, weaknesses, moves, combos and general control scheme. They are all very balanced, for example the hammer (my personal favorite) has the highest damage rate, but has no blocking and the attack animations are pretty slow (it's pretty big), thus requiring more strategy. Whereas the sword and shield have the least damage, but you can block, attack a lot faster AND use items without sheathing the sword. It's really important you find the weapon that better suits your style as you learn the ropes. Try switching weapons once you’re used to your favorite, it’s like playing a brand new game.

Graphics and sound are beautiful, just keep in mind this is a Wii game. Landscapes are gorgeous and animations are smooth. Lots of tiny details here and there, too; I still find myself looking at new things in the very first map. Character gestures are lots of fun; and one thing I found especially clever was that the running animation turns into a hilarious “HOLY SHIT IS IT STILL BEHIND ME?!?!” panic run when you are running away from a monster.

Control-wise the game is pretty tight, the camera is ideal for the kind of things you will be doing and you can browse through your stuff and find that potion while running like hell. Some features in the menus, though, seem tacked on just to justify the wiimote + nunchuck controller scheme, which is not that bad, really. I have no issues with the classic controller, but I’ve read about people complaining about it and strongly recommending the new Classic Controller Pro.

When playing offline you are assigned an AI partner that will teach you that no matter how much your teammates suck, it’s still a WAY LOT better than being by yourself. Cha-cha will help with some things but generally he is just a good decoy. Your base of operations will be a village that you are meant to save from a few huge beasts. There’s a bit of a story but mostly it’s about how you learn the rope while hunting progressively tougher monsters until you're ready to face the terrible leviathan terrorizing the village. You have the option of stepping outside into an island while not on a timed quest to practice or gather stuff. Some people complain about the slow learning curve, It was OK for me, just keep in mind this is no easy game. Also, the few hours you spend training are nothing compared to the time you will be spending with this baby.

When playing online the game will be divided into servers, then gates, then cities. There are four types of servers: Open (everybody can play), Rookie, expert and recruiting. If you ask me all servers should be recruiting servers, where you either join a group that is doing something you want to do, or open a “city” and wait for others looking for what you’re looking for to join.

There are four players to a city, where you pick a quest and go hunting together. You can use gestures, WiiSpeak, a USB keyboard or preset “shout outs” to communicate. After a few deaths the quest is failed. Otherwise, there aren't many ways a bad player could ruin your quest. Finding friends is still a big annoyance because of the “hunter ID” system which is nothing but a glorified Friend Code, but you’ll probably have tons of fun with strangers anyway.

Finding the right group can be tedious at times because of the way the servers are divided, but that is mostly because sometimes higher-ranked (Hunter Rank is a system that measures your experience) players refuse to pick quests accessible to the least experienced players in the city. The truth is that f you're doing a lower rank quest, the game will sprinkle a few surprises around to keep the tougher players entertained while the newbies pick mushrooms.

In the end, ask any player and most will agree that the best part of the game is the sense of satisfaction you get from finishing a quest. I don’t recall feeling so exited and relieved after beating a boss in any other game. It is very rewarding.

If you’re ever on, drop me a line, my ID is ngkyf5.

click here to read my endgame review.

Flipnote Studio + Flipnote Hatena = Awesome

Here I am, thinking “I haven’t played any new games lately, what can I write about?” Well, I have been spending a great deal of time with the DS, but not with a game. Let me tell you about this underrated killer app that is Flipnote Studio. This application is freely available to all DSi owners, I know, this article is intended for those who do not own a DSi or have not bothered trying the application.

The first thing I liked about FS is the price. It’s abso-freakin-lutely free! Heck, if I’m not mistaken, it was free back when the web browser was at 500 points! So I download it and give it a shot. What I found brought me tears of joy. I could fulfill my childhood dream of being a cartoonist/animator! Not skipping a beat I threw together this little piece:

The interface is ridiculously simple and the basic animation tools are pretty intuitive. Again, I drew the animation above right after downloading. The more advanced tools take some practice, just as with making a complex animation by hand; so the learning curve seems well proportioned. The built-in instructions (just like every other DSi Ware title has) along with the packed-in animations will help you through this process. Besides drawing with the stylus you also use images from the Nintendo DSi Camera application (be warned – the pictures will be turned to monochrome) and use the microphone (or previously recorded/edited bits from the Nintendo DSi Sound application) to add sound.

Graphics-wise the application has a simplistic, elegant layout composed of straight lines, smoothed edges, solid colors and pixelated frogs. This style prevails when using the online client and can be seen on the PC counterpart of the website. The elegance of this design helps you acclimate to what a flipnote is.

The flipnotes, or animations, produced always have a rather “artisan-ish” feel to them; they never show more that three colors on screen at the same time (from a choice of four), and sounds and music experience some loss as they are always recorded through an open microphone in a room that probably isn’t a recording studio. Now, to me this is a good thing; with all artists using a standardized tool, talent plays a key role in what constitutes a good flipnote. A few cheats can be seen here and there, but they are easy to spot.

Another rather awesome feature is that the software acts as a client for the Hatena web page. Think of it as YouTube but everything’s hand-drawn. That’s where I found the little gem at the header of this post. They have this form of currency – stars – that is used as a mean as showing one’s appreciation for a particular piece of art. You can throw yellow stars around with reckless abandon, but a star of any other color will actually cost you, so when a piece of art has a red, blue or green star, you know it’s that good. The only downside of this online community is that it’s littered with preteens… which can be a bit annoying for us older folks (mostly because their tendency to meddle around one’s lawn). Every once in a while a creative kid comes up with a new fad like a roulette animation that you pause to determine how many stars to give or a single-frame animation that says CHAT ROOM where kids rush to post comments (therefore making the animation ridiculously popular while not being an actual work of art). There are supposed to be “channels” to keep these grouped but still kids will abuse this by submitting these to EVERY channel. In the end, the really good stuff always makes it through to the headlines and together with being able to keep tabs on your favorite artists and built in suggestions, browsing around their site is still a generally pleasurable experience.

At the moment I’m working on this really awesome short film (almost 200 frames so far!) for a new webcomic I’m working on. Click HERE For more info about my current projects. If you wish to follow my Hatena work, my search code is: You can add me as a favorite author if on the DSi or subscribe to my RSS feed if watching on your PC. If you have an account and want to post your search codes go ahead and leave a comment!

Scribblenauts and Metagaming

Metagaming is a broad term usually used to define any strategy, action or method used in a game which transcends a prescribed ruleset, uses external factors to affect the game, or goes beyond the supposed limits or environment set by the game. Another definition refers to the game universe outside of the game itself.

In simple terms, using out-of-game information, or resources, to affect one's in-game decisions.

-Wikipedia quote

There are two separate instances in which I’ve seen this term used. The first being when players use knowledge obtained outside a game’s narrative to gain an advantage in-game. For example, imagine an FPS that takes place in your hometown, you would have an advantage over other players, especially right after the game’s launch, because you already know the “maps”. In a less realistic scenario, Imagine a fantasy game based on a book in which those who have read the book may have an advantage. In role-playing games it is considered metagaming if a player says or does something their character should not know about, this is usually considered cheating.

The other instance would be a videogame that is extremely flexible in what the player can do to achieve a certain goal. The truth being this instance is the same as the former as the players’ knowledge gives them an edge when offered so many possibilities. It seems to me, though, that the word was assigned to this phenomenon as a need to name this trend which is a necessary step in the evolution of video games, another fad just like the term “sandbox”.

In Pac Man, you control the hero and are given a goal to devour all the pills in a maze without being caught. However you are limited to moving up, down, left or right at a steady pace. Stopping isn’t even an option, unless you keep walking against a wall. The only tools you have are power pills, which enable you to defeat the guardians of said pills. This is the base from which most games evolved from. You are given a character, a set of moves, enemies, a level and a goal to reach.

This impending evolution forced game designers to expand all of these options. More heroes to choose from including power-ups, more moves, more goals, more enemies with more ways to defeat you or to be defeated, greater goals and even optional achievements.

Now take a look at this here game called Scribblenauts. A game made popular by its claim of having limitless possibilities. You have the hero, Maxwell. The moves? Well you can walk and jump, initially then there are the power-ups… thousands of items and creatures you can summon as long as you can spell their name correctly. The goal? Find the Starite; some levels have sub-goals you need to accomplish before the Starite appears.

Put this way it sounds horribly simple, right? It is just another side-scrolling platformer, but with a whole lot more power-ups! Just like the (back then) groundbreaking Grand Theft Auto… why, just another top-down adventure game with many goals (missions), many power-ups (weapons, vehicles) and huge levels!

If you have not played this game I certainly recommend you try it. Scribblenauts developed a ridiculously large database of items and characters with such detailed descriptions that the game basically knows what everything is just like the player does, so when the player tries something, the output will be the very close to what the player expects. While solving the puzzles is lots of fun, the best feature is definitely the “sandbox” title screen. While on the title screen, you are allowed to summon stuff, but there is no real goal or time limit. You just put things together and see how they interact. This tickles your brain in a certain way that causes great satisfaction. Try digging up those really obscure words you think will not be there, and make them interact with something completely unexpected. The result will be just what you expected.

Summon a vampire and a priest. The priest will freak out and run away, unless the vampire catches him first and turns him into a ghoul… unless you summon a cross and hand it to the priest, who will proceed to righteously smite the vampire until it is turned into a pile of ashes.

The puzzles range from the obvious to the ridiculously impossible. I find myself putting the game away from time to time just to take a break either because the games the puzzles have gotten too easy and repetitive or because I just can’t figure out how to beat one (I could always resort to my list of fail-proof items, but the idea is to be creative). The sounds and music are just OK, and the controls… well the control sucks. Why didn’t they make the character controlled with the D-Pad so the touch screen could be used exclusively for scribbling and placing items? Having the two things controlled the same way will make your guy suddenly dash into a mine you just set and were trying to move. This happens a lot.

It is fascinating how the game knows what everything is. Imagine now if your favorite game “knew” all this about everything on it.

My point being that terms such as “sandbox” and “metagaming” should not be turned into “genres”, but they should be a model for all videogames to come. While I don’t expect every new videogame hero to be carrying a magical notebook that allows it to summon stuff, I certainly hope game developers learn from the way Scribblenauts manages each and every item, character and place. The task would be simpler to integrate into another game, as there is a set list of items, characters and places. Say there’s a FPS that has guard dogs, well if the player picks up a steak from the mess hall, he could use it to distract the dogs, but the same would happen with every other item that can be carried and happens to be of interest to a dog. What if I grab the dog and release it in the mess hall? What if I take some dog poo and…

Let the player experiment. Have them put the gun down and start looking for creative ways to get through. Let every character have a personality and a set of priorities, even that dumb grunt. What if I leave a dirty magazine here, will the guard stop to look at it? What if I cut down a tree and leave it there, oh, he would definitely freak out… but carrying that tree around is gonna be a pain… I need a plan! Let every item have physical properties. What if I set the enemy base on fire? What if I knock down this wall? What if I drive this tank into a swimming pool? Let every game have a realistic physics engine. What if I load this fridge into the catapult? What if I load myself into the catapult? What if I load the fridge then get inside?

Every game would be a “metagame”, every game would be a “sandbox” but they don’t all have to be Grand Theft Auto Meets Scribblenauts. You still get a character, a set of moves, a goal and a level, only that furniture would not be bolted to the ground, and a gun would not be glued to your hands.