Thursday, August 28, 2014

I tried to warn you. Gamers are on the brink of extinction.

That's right. Gamers are going the way of the Dreamcast. Gone. Cancelled. Forgotten. No need to be angry, though! It's gonna be fine! You're going to be fine, I promise! Put down your weapon and continue reading.

For the last few years I've been writing about how toxic the "Handcore demographic" has gotten. I've discussed Nintendo hate among gamers and tried to define the term "Hardcore". I think I caught a bit of a trend there, don't you?

Recently, however, a great deal of shit has hit the fan. I don't have all the facts, but the news are pretty disturbing. Here's some headlines:


Even if these articles were full of lies, the fact remains that people are rushing to the comments section in these pages to defend whoever's harassing these people. Under what circumstances is it OK to attack people like this? None. It's wrong. I don't care how evil do you think these people are. I don't wanna hear about corruption in journalism and any other bullshit arguments. If you disagree with these people, then don't consume their product. There are more pressing issues right now! Like wars and global warming and shit!

So why are people turning violent over such trivial matters (AKA Video Games)? Previously I had hypothesized that the hardcore gamer crowd was taking the offensive because they suddenly felt like a majority, whereas they had previously been bullied. I still think this is true, but not the main reason. There's a point I had not considered, something else that hit the media today.

Dan Golding seems to have hit the nail right on the head (please click on the links for context). Turns out the gamers are feeling threatened!

I fully agree with his views. The gamers are lashing out against anyone who threatens to change their lifestyle, their identity, or to let outsiders into their couch fortress.
Suddenly the feminists say that we can't have gratuitous titties in our games. We're fucking adults! Stop messing with our games! Then these chicks are making girly games, and now when I go to Gamestop, there's little girls there too! I can't shop at a store that caters to little girls! Did you know girls can't be gamers? And if they are they have to be virgins! Ugly virgins that fear our ever-ready rape stick! Yeah, we can make rape jokes, we're adults! Now everybody wants to be a gamer, and if everyone is a gamer, then what am I? Just a person? What am I supposed to do with all this loot crate swag now? Who am I?
One thing the last two articles referenced never mentioned, however, is the Nintendo hate! The final piece of the puzzle! Now I know why the hardcore gamers love to hate Nintendo! Because Nintendo is changing their hobby! They're making games for children and adults. They make controllers that require body movements. They keep prices low to appeal to a wider audience... They are threatening the status quo. No, wait, they destroyed it long ago, now, with the Wii.

I heard people complain that Nintendo was refusing to evolve by developing underpowered hardware and sticking to their franchises. But isn't it the other way around? Hasn't the entire industry, including the consumer, refused to evolve by not allowing innovation and diversity?

If you're a hardcore gamer, know that there will always be a market for "triple A" games. But you will have to share now. But nobody's taking anything from you! There's just going to be more! Enough for everyone! But some things will change. But for the better! Some of the gratuitous violence and misogyny will slowly fade out as more and more females start to buy games, and as the media finally starts to pay attention. But more consumers means more business! The industry is going to flourish! Everyone's a gamer now, you're just a guy now. Sure, you won't have that feeling of belonging anymore, but you're no longer an outcast! See? I told you everything was going to be alright!

Please don't kill me. I love you!