How to save the Wii U

I know you've read a brazillion posts about how to save the Wii U, And I know you are sick of them all. But bear with me for a moment, this one actually makes sense!

What the Wii U needs is a killer app. What the Wii U needs is Jet Grind Radio. Think about it.

The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker showed us that the Wii U's full 1080, 60fps capability makes cel-shaded graphics look gorgeous. What other game was popular for using cel-shaded graphics? Jet Grind Radio. The game will certainly look amazing.

On the Dreamcast days, JGR had a neat graffiti generation tool. You could make customized tags that looked great, in case you got tired of the pre-made ones. But you could go further and go on your computer, edit some graphics, and them import them via the Dreamcast's web browser. Spray-painting silly pictures around town was half the fun. But there's no need for any of this on the Wii U, because of the Gamepad! There's a huge artist community on Miiverse, and if you give them the ability to make cool tags with Gamepad, share them on Miiverse, and use them in-game, they will go crazy!

Of course, when you had chosen your tags for the game, painting them in-game was done by swiping the analog stick. You had to be fast, especially with larger tags, because the cops were always after you. Now imagine the possibilities. Instead of swiping on a stick, you trace lines on the gamepad, and while the gamepad shows your art taking shape, the TV screen shows an over-the shoulder view of the back of the character, so you can keep an eye on incoming cops. ZombiU proved this was a great gameplay mechanic when you had to use the gamepad to unlock doors or fix things while you kept an eye on the big screen for incoming zombies. The more complicated the task, the more you have to focus, the more you have to focus, the easier it is for cops to sneak up on you. Sure, JGR's cops aren't sneaky shambling zombies, but nevertheless it sounds like loads of fun. In JGR the cops would shoot you and try to harm you, but the new version could include cops who walk up to you and if they get their hands on you you'd be arrested and the game ends.

Some have called the Wii U Nintendo's Dreamcast. I can certainly feel the similarities, and I'm willing to wager a lot of Dreamcast fans own Wii U systems, but many more are apprehensive after DC's failure. This move might win many of them over.

JGR featured some awesome music I still listen to today, if SEGA and Nintendo get the right music for this game it will sell itself.

And my final argument: Jet Grind radio was a lot of fun. I'd play that game for hours on end. A fun game is always a safe bet. I'd grind and grind for hours to get the best scores, with no one to show, but now, playing for high scores takes on a new meaning with Miiverse. Again the fun factor is multiplied.

And this is how you save the Wii U. With Jet Grind Radio as a system exclusive.

Homodachi Life.

This whole #Miiquality deal reminds me of the time PETA went against Nintendo for Mario's tanooki fur suit.

It's not helping their cause at all.

We're talking about a game made by a bunch of middle-aged Japanese men. They did not push the gays out, they probably didn't notice that they were waiting outside in the first place.

Throw an avalanche of hate in their direction, when they're already in trouble financially, and of course they're going to come out with an awkward,  panicked response that can be easily torn apart by the frenzied masses and turned agains them.

They realized that they made a mistake.  They did not do it on purpose, but they see it's a big deal.  They promised it won't happen again.  But the masses are still wielding torches and pitchforks.  They want Iwata's head on a plate.

The same thing happened when Anita Sarkeesian called them out on their sexist ways. They listened and they changed. Peach is now a heroine instead of a damsel in distress.

The LGBT community now has an ally in Nintendo. I hope they realize that before they drive them to bankruptcy.