In order to make this blog post more amusing, let's all pretend I was drunk when I wrote it. If possible, use a slurred voice when reading it in your head. I apologize in advance for the lack of typos.
Dear Square-Enix:
Enough with the old school remakes already! Geez! We get it, guys; these games are classics, cool. Yeah, yeah, they're profitable, all right. But seriously, man, like, the first wave of remakes for the PSONE is 10 years old!
When are we going to see remakes for that third generation of Final Fantasies? Clearly, you had no issues with teasing us with the infamous Final Fantasy VII tech demo. You saw the fans' response. You know we want it badly… Why are you holding back?
You know what? I don't even want an excuse; just start working on those already! I'm aware VII, VIII and IX are going to be a bit tricky to re-do because of the combination of polygon and pre-rendered graphics, the fact that gameplay revolved around those, at-the-time innovative graphics and that you might want to make them extra special… so, fine, take your time.
But have you ever stopped to think about the Fourth generation? You can easily port everything from X to XII to the current gen of handhelds with little or no work at all! That might appease us angry, broken hearted, drunken fans!
I'm pretty sure you can cram a Final Fantasy X + X-2 special 3D edition into a 3DS cart in less than a week and sell it for 40 bucks. You can make the graphics 3D really easy, add a quick-save mode and it's a perfect hand-held game!
You could do the same with XII and XII-2, I suppose. How about the MMO? I'm positive you can cram XI into the current Wi-Fi-enabled handhelds!
Please, square-enix, I like FFIV as much as the next guy, but we've played it to death already. We need newer old stuff. Oh, and keep on making new stuff too.
Sincerely:
Teh 201d
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