Endgame Review: Nintendogs + cats

I got this coupon in the mail for a discount on a used game, and they didn’t have much used games in store so I grabbed a copy of Nintendogs +cats.

Seriously, though. That was my choice. My reasoning was that I wanted a game I could pick up and put down at random intervals, mainly so I could play at work. My daughter had the original game a few years back and I found playing with the puppies to be quite relaxing.

How do I go about describing this game to you? Well, in layman’s terms it’s a virtual pet. You feed it, bathe it, walk it and play with it, then it gets hungry, thirsty and dirty and you start over again. The game relies on touchscreen controls, as well as the camera and microphone, so in essence you can touch and talk to your puppy, and it can see you and recognize you as well, this makes an ever greater bond between you and the virtual canine (you can also use the pedometer to “walk with your dog”, but the rewards you get aren’t that great and it has the frustrating habit of rounding your steps DOWN by the thousand). I still smile when my pup turns to face me when I call her name, or notices I’m staring. It is all very relaxing, almost therapeutic, and the puppies are just delightful to watch. Nintendo really knows how to exploit the ages-old bond between homo sapiens and canis lupus.

Now, in gamer’s terms… meh, it’s hardly even a game! Everything in the game is so organic I was never certain whether I did something wrong or my puppy was having an attitude with me. Did I lose the race or did the dog lose it? Did I mispronounce the command or was the puppy distracted? This doesn’t ever get to the point of being frustrating – I mean, c’mon, puppies! – But it does make me wonder. You can teach your dog tricks, which is really cute. However, you need to say the commands out loud, which, even if you’re not embarrassed to do in public, isn’t feasible because it won’t hear you over the slightest background noise. Playing outside is the reason I bought a handheld system in the first place! Also, when you first take them for a walk they start off with a lot of bad habits you can gradually break by tugging at the leash and giving them a treat if they settle down, I mention this in the videogame part because you really need to pay attention while on these walks (or else your dog will do horrible things like rolling in puddles, chasing birds, humping your leg and eating roadkill). Not as relaxing as I wanted.

The most game-like portion are the competitions, there’s flying disk, lure chasing and obedience trials. You need to practice with your pup at home and it needs to gradually get better. So no matter how good you are at flicking that disk off your touchscreen, reeling the lure in or how well you enunciate your command, your pup will suck for a while. And when it’s gotten good, sometimes it just fails (again, you never know if the game’s not responding or if your puppy is trolling you). As a reward for winning a competition you are granted access to a more advanced competition, when you beat the last one you get an item your pup can wear, like a cheesy-looking crown or a medal, nothing awesome. This can only motivate you so far.

I also want to discuss the use of AR cards. You can use them to watch your dog and take pictures of it, and if you print an AR card image enlarged to fit a letter-sized page, the dog will be pretty close to the size of a real dog, which is really neat. Too bad you can’t do much with the dog in this game mode. The obedience competitions force you to play in AR mode, so not only do you need a quiet place so your pup can hear your commands; you also need a bright place to place your AR card and plenty of room to move around. I haven’t gotten any far in these competitions simply because it’s such a hassle.

Everything else flows too organically. Progress in general is measured in “trainer points” you gain when you take care of your puppies, which you have to do anyway, so in the end it’s only a matter of time until you start unlocking things, like accessories, toys and more breeds to adopt. In addition your pup will constantly pick up junk on walks that may be recycled and exchanged for rare items (that you unlock with trainer points). I hadn’t even beaten all the competitions and I think I have all the endgame content.

Speaking of endgame content, besides the fact that you get it for practically no effort, it’s not really gratifying. There’s a secret breed that is actually a robot puppy. Now there’s a dog that does everything just like every other breed, but is made of shiny plastic! Great job at holding the suspension of disbelief! Ugh. Besides, it’s ugly. There’s also a sci-fi house that also makes everything look fake. After I spent a fortune on it I went and bought back the default home so it feels more like pets in a house instead of cartoons.

The game puts the StreetPass and SpotPass features to good use. Whenever you tag someone with the game, their mii and pets come over and show up on your game on occasion, you can also share pictures from the game, but since AR pictures are also allowed, gratuitous penis shots are always a possibility. They also send special guests over SpotPass on occasion, normally former US presidents and their pets.

The graphics are amazing and the dogs have great detail, the backgrounds are pretty plain, but get the job done. The menus are very elegant and intuitive, except at the beginning after you choose your first puppy, then you have to wait until it gets used to your house before you can do anything with it. ANYTHING! When I bought the game, before I wiped the save, it had a mangy, dirty dog running around that hadn’t even been named! Apparently the previous owner got tired of waiting for a menu to appear. The sound isn’t great though, some of the breeds’ barks sound like adult dogs instead of puppies, and the Siberian Husky has a weird echo to it. Other sounds like panting, drinking and eating (generic to all breeds including robopup (I know, weird, huh?)) seem to have been captured in a studio using props, and while they do the trick over the speakers, they sound awful on headphones. The music is definitely Nintendo-grade. My biggest issue, though, was battery usage. Apparently since this game constantly uses every single piece of hardware on the handheld (well except the motion sensors), my battery would last, say, about half as much as with other games!

The verdict: Buy the game if you’re into virtual pets, time-wasters, or want to fully exploit every feature the system has to offer. Don’t buy the game if you are expecting challenging gameplay, any kind of rewards, or can’t devote time to it. Also, the game is definitely not for little kids, it requires patience and dedication.

How Nintendo can take back the smartphone's market share.

I keep finding articles all over the internet about how the Nintendo 3DS and the PlayStation Vita will be utter failures simply because people already have gaming-capable smartphones in their pockets. Of course I have written about this more than once, and to summarize, I simply don’t think it’s true.

"I think it's very similar between cell phone cameras and professional digital cameras [DSLRs]. You don't use a Smartphone camera for an interview, and you don't use a really professional camera to take some small pictures when you're going to work," - Mega Man co-creator and ex-Capcom head of production Keiji Inafune

Recently, though, I had an idea that may give Nintendo an edge against the constant barrage of disposable games smartphone users tend to compare real video games. What if Nintendo starts repackaging some of their older classic games as cheap minigames? I came to this realization as I played Balloon Fight on Balloon Trip mode. I thought it resembled some very popular flash games, and might as well be their predecessor (no, I don’t know how old the “helicopter game” is).

Balloon Trip: an Existential Journey from Sir Cucumber on Vimeo.

With a very small budget they could re-make any game (or part of it) with high-resolution sprites, backgrounds and menus. Leave the retro sounds and music intact (everybody loves chiptunes!) and slap on a catchy acronym for a suffix (not “3D”, please). Instead of hosting a costly online leaderboard, let players exchange high scores over streetpass. Finally, make sure the game doesn’t have many menus or game modes; just a splash screen and then some action. When you’re done, toss a few of these games at your customers over spotpass every once in a while!

If players knew they would find a little gift-wrapped icon in their menu every once in a while with games that not only are addictive and simple, but are free, they would keep their Wi-Fi on all the time, thus providing valuable data that Nintendo could use and keeping their systems updated to prevent piracy.

If investors think gamers want cheap games above all else, then give them to us so the investors can continue to support the system and developers can continue to make quality games.

So, what will it be? A generic helicopter game or Balloon Trip SX? Fruit Ninja or Duck Hunt WZ? Wrecking Crew BT anyone? Aw yeah!

Open letter to Nintendo regarding the 3DS

Dear Nintendo:

It has been almost 6 months since the Nintendo 3DS was released and even though I am very happy with my system, it seems the public perception is different. And even though you went as far as to announce a price drop on a system that is nowhere near obsolescence to change that notion... Well, I worry. Let me tell you why.

If I had it my way I'd buy every console and every game for it, then I'd wipe my butt with any title that was anything short of perfect, just like they do in video game magazines. But that is not the case. Before I buy a game I have to know if I like it first, because otherwise it's wasted money. When it comes to hardware, I like to research it thoroughly, but I also get a feeling I must buy it as close to launch as possible in order to get the most time out of it.

I have not been this hyped about a video game system since the days of the Dreamcast, and we all know what happened to it; it was discontinued in 2 years. The reason I liked it was because of all the innovations it had made, just like with the 3DS. Now, I know what killed the DC was mostly piracy, but I can't stop feeling that the world simply wasn't ready its awesomeness. Thus, an entirely pathological fear that the 3DS might fail simply because the consumers will reject it's not what they're used to.

Now, when the rumors started popping up before launch that the 3D effect would give users headaches (or make their heads explode if they are under 18) I really started to freak out. Bad news travel faster than good news, so you made a huge gamble with the 3D if they knew there would be anything "not good" about it. I wondered: if you took such a risk, you must have one helluva plan! Yeah, you have an ace up their sleeve. I mean c'mon, you started out as a playing card manufacturer, right?

Hardware-wise, one thing that had me very excited was the fact that the 3DS would be the first commercially available 3D camera. I'm not really a camera guy, but you had the market for yourselves. You could have sold the system as a 3D camera with social network integration and that alone would sell 3DS systems to non-gamers, but you didn't. Now there's a dedicated 3d camera out there, plus a phone with a 3d camera. So unless you can figure out a way to hand out 3DS systems for free in exchange for a 2 year contract, smartphones that cost thrice as much will still be considered cheaper. Now not only is there a competition, they've got us beat both in price and picture quality. First missed opportunity.

When the web browser was released it was a huge disappointment for me. To me the DSi browser was perfect and at times more comfortable to use than even my PC. I couldn't wait to see what they would do with a higher resolution screen. What did they do? They changed the whole thing. It sucks now.

Now, on the software side, I thought the system would definitely outperform your previous handhelds thanks to the increased third party support. The old DS had a worse line-up at launch and it sold like hotcakes (remember how they made fun of how it had two screens?) eventually! As a matter of fact, when I learned that there would be no mandatory Mario game at launch, I thought that maybe you were purposely letting third party developers have this shelf space to increase their trust or something. The promised launch line-up was certainly impressive, but it has been months already and only a handful of good games are available, most of them direct ports of old games. Good games, but old. Way to play it safe, Nintendo!

Is the complexity of the system keeping developers away? Back in the day, when a new system was released, developers only needed to make more detailed graphics in order to move to the next generation. Could it be that designing for 3D displays is that much harder? Are they totally stumped by the whole "streetpass" concept? I seriously just don't get it. Developers should be over the 3DS like a giant turtle/dragon over a princess. And your people should be hard at work enticing developers to hop on board.

Then the e-shop was released and with it a ray of hope. But week after week you kept releasing only DSi games; with the exception of a few emulated Game Boy titles or 3D classics (more ports, UGH!). Playing retro games is one thing, but I don't see the appeal of playing a low-res DSi game stretched to fit the 3DS screen.

Now, going back to the first paragraph; I am very satisfied with my system. I own three awesome games for it and I've got more than enough play time left in them to last until the next killer app comes out. Not to mention two or three games currently available that I want. In the meantime I can also play my old DS games, ExiteBike 3D, those 20 games I will be getting as part of the ambassador program or go back to the preinstalled software.

Whenever I hear someone complain about the poor selection of games available I just want to smack 'em on the back of the head. This is what happens when people that get paid to play games tell the people that have to pay for the games what they should like. Sure, the average videogame magazine editor burns through 10 games a day, but what about the consumer? A good game, in average, takes about a month to beat, not counting any replay value it may have. According to Metacritic, right now there are six 3DS games with ratings ranging from “generally favorable” to “Universally acclaimed”. So there you have it: one “killer app” per month, if played at an average human pace. Then there are all the other games that got OK reviews; only five were found “generally unfavorable” or below, so I’m sure there’s something there for everyone.

More than once have I heard that the system's competition is smartphones. I don't see how anyone would compare a dedicated gaming system to a Swiss-army peripheral that only handles mediocre games; to me it would be like comparing a formula 1 racecar to a hybrid SUV. They both have their places, and while the SUV will be less expensive and more practical in most cases, if you want to race, the choice is clear.

The last time Iwata San tried to warn the world about how disposable $0.99 games would devaluate mobile games, nobody listened. Now people are talking about the death of dedicated handheld gaming platforms.

In my opinion, what you need to do is to continue pushing this message. People need to be shown, not told, the "Wal-Mart effect" these crap games are having. They need to understand that if they continue to buy disposable games then real games will simply stop being made. You need to put ads on the air addressing this directly. But you can't have a man in a suit deliver the message, nobody liked it when you did that the last time. Instead deliver the message from the gamer's point of view.

On the other hand you need to make players realize you do have options for simple, low cost games that don't come off as "cheap". Show the world this e-shop you have! You need to get these minigames on TV as well. You need to have retailers put prepaid e-shop cards next to the 3DS games shelf. Have game-specific cards for sale at retail, only to give the games visibility.

Third, the 3DS e-shop needs more quality games. You need to start making some genuine first-party offerings on this platform. Make high-res versions of top-selling DS games available on the e-shop. Make new first-party IP and try to secure 3D versions of popular smartphone games. We need an “Angry Birds” killer there! Get in the game!

And finally, you need to lower the prices on all platforms. Retail games should be at most $30, and e-shop titles could drop a buck or two, specially outdated DSi ware games. Just don't drop 'em all the way down to "dirt cheap". This would be counter-productive on the devaluation argument, but all games have their prices lowered eventually, so I don't see why downloadable games can't.

Once more, I am happy with my 3DS and I still recommend it, even more so now that it's cheaper. Sure, I felt ripped off when I first heard of the price drop, but today I feel it's a good thing (even without the Ambassador Program bonuses) because I understand that I won't see the system's true potential if it doesn't sell well. But not everybody sees it this way, and you need to work on that.

Sincerely:
Your greatest fanboy

Outdated Review: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D

When the time came to write the review for Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D, I asked myself: "Self, what do Downcast readers expect from this Outdated Review™?" To which I answered "what readers?" So I'll just post a slightly amusing anecdote accompanied with my impressions on the game.

We're talking about a game that was first released in 1998. I'm going to spare you gameplay-specific details because you've probably played it already. In case you haven't, I suggest you Google it for the details, but you should at least know this: The original was critically acclaimed as the greatest game ever, and many believe it still is. The game also introduced many gameplay mechanics used to this day.

I never really played the original. I never owned a N64, and when I finally found someone to lend me one (I think the owner already had a GameCube) I decided I'd just watch as my wife played it. You see, she's not much of a gamer, but when she likes a game, she gets very OCD about it, and she doesn't mind spoiling the game for others. Hell, she doesn't even mind spoiling it for herself. But I did watch the whole thing, even the obsessive gold skulltula hunting.

As I recall, the N64 graphics were always ugly, I guess the system's much hyped antialiasing only served to make everything look like a nauseating blur. But the game wasn't particularly famous for its graphics, sound or special effects. It was simply a great game. It had lots of fun things to do, and that magic that only Shigeru Miyamoto can produce. Another thing that made the game very memorable was the music. The Lost Woods theme is even catchier than the Super Mario Bros. 2 theme (Tetris theme B still reigns supreme, though)!

The game was fun enough I was satisfied watching someone else play it, only pitching in on occasion to help solve a particularly tough puzzle.

Now, if I tell you, "they took the greatest game ever, updated the graphics and frame rate, added touchscreen menus, motion-sensing controls and high-res, widescreen, three freaking dee graphics!" it would be a pretty simple way to sell it to you. But was it as simple as that? No not really.

I really want to tell you this is a perfect game. But there are a couple things they didn't get right. I tend to leave what I didn't like for the end but I figure that might leave you with a negative impression, and I really want you to want this game, so I'll start with that.

I think one of the things I didn't particularly love was how the game was ported over to a handheld. Forget the graphics, sound or controls. A handheld game needs a certain degree of accessibility if it is to be played on the go. They went through all the trouble of adding the sheikah stones (or n00b stones as those of us who grew up on Halo call 'em) but they couldn't add an auto save function? You have to remember to save your game every once in a while, which truly shows this is a game from the nineties, and then when you load the game you always start on the same place, and have to walk all the way back to where you were to continue.

This is only a mild annoyance, the game actually has an advantage over the console in that when you close the system it goes to sleep mode, but what if my battery power runs out, or I drop my 3Ds and the cartridge pops out?

Regarding the 3D effect I think it is fantastic. Let me give you a few in-game examples. When you go to Lake Hylia and head towards the scarecrows, it will happen that you will be running then Link will jump and roll because there is a sudden drop you didn't see. This doesn't happen in 3D. You can see the fluctuations on the ground even when the texture and shading is identical throughout. This is particularly useful when riding, as Epona doesn't like that kind of jumps. When the princess drops the namesake instrument in the moat, it took my wife about 5 tries to get it because she couldn't quite line herself up; this doesn't happen in 3D because you can tell exactly where it is at the bottom.

The only problem with the effect is that at times you can feel the camera slightly focusing back and forth when you stand still in awkward positions, and sometimes the camera wobbles when going up stairs which can be dizzying when the 3D is on.

The game also features gyroscopic controls, specifically used to move the camera about and to aim long-ranged weapons, much like in Face Raiders. I find this absolutely brilliant. Just aim and shoot! There is one problem though; the same Face Raiders has: moving the system is tricky when playing in 3D.

So you have three options for aiming:

• Disable 3D and aim with the gyroscope by slightly skewing the system.
• Disable the gyroscopes and aim with the analog nub in 3D.
• Hold the system like you're playing Face Raiders, and rotate your entire body when aiming in 3D

I still can't understand why they couldn't just have an option to have the 3D temporarily disabled while gyroscoping! If you've ever fired a weapon you may have noticed one tends to shut one eye anyway. Just add a neat "blink" transition effect and bingo!

Now regarding the graphics, this is where the grievances end. To me the game is beautiful. Sure, the polygon count is almost the same as the original (in order to conserve the gameplay geometry) but the graphics are still beautiful. They smoothed and redid the textures so everything just pretty even up close.

No, you can't count the hairs on link's head. No, you can't see up his nostrils. No, you can't smell the grass. But what you see is still really pretty (except for some of the NPCs). The nasty anti-aliasing is gone. The frame rate is smooth. The colors are dreamy. Just staring at the sky, the sunset, the moon, the stars and the sunrise is magical. If you hear someone telling you the graphics are outdated, please smack 'em on the back of the head and tell them 201d said to STFU.

Then there's the fact that it's now widescreen and almost all of the data from the HUD has been moved to the bottom screen.

Speaking of which, another innovation is the touchscreen controls. These are pure genius. They took the original's cumbersome pause menus and put them on the bottom screen. While playing you will see the area map, and you can tap different "tabs" to pause the game and bring out the different menus from the original, which have been slightly improved. On the GEAR menu you can switch swords, shields and tunics, plus it shows the different key items you've earned (stones, medallions, etc.). On the MAP screen you can change floors and see some extra map information. On the ITEMS menu you see all other usable or equippable items. Note that boots are now selected on the ITEMS menu, rather than GEAR menu, so they can be assigned to a button to be changed on the fly (making the Water Temple 98% easier).

Just like in the original you can bind items to buttons that do not have a set function. This time around B is your sword button, A is the context button, L is for... uh... "L Targeting” and R is for the shield. That leaves Y and X to customize, plus they added two icons on the touchscreen right next to the buttons that you can also customize. On the opposite corners of the screen there’s a "camera" icon and an icon permanently bound to your ocarina.

It would have been nice if they implemented some of the 3DS' features such as StreetPass, but they would probably feel tacked-on or entirely disrupt the balance of the game, so at the same time I'm glad they didn't.

In general the game is loads of fun and certainly still relevant. If you noticed, all my complaints were regarding things that could have been added. Nothing was changed for the worse, nothing was taken away. So those 100 out of 100 reviews it got back then still apply here. If you've played the original, buy if or the nostalgia, if you haven’t, buy it because you're missing out on the greatest game ever.

Hey! Listen! Leave Navi alone!

"Fly, Navi, fly! The fate of the forest, nay, the world, depends upon thee!" - The Deku Tree

When I first saw The Legend of Zelda, one of the things that most impressed me was Navi. You see, I believed they had changed the way games would be made that day. They had figured a way to make a "living, breathing" cursor that helped you navigate a 3D world. It wasn't a dumb arrow, a blinking highlight or such. It wouldn't beep, or even halt the game with a text message to catch your attention; instead you'd get a cheerful "HEY!"

After that game I expected game creators to resort to more in-game resources to point the player in the right direction so the storytelling could flow. I daydreamed about the day one of the members in your party in a JRPG would point and say "maybe we should check that out". Instead we got stuck looking at cursors, arrows, HUDs, life gauges…

I'm pretty sure Miyamoto and his team were also enamored with the whole Navi concept. For the first five minutes of the game you'd think she was the protagonist! The scene in which she zips through the forest with her own catchy theme playing in the background, dodging kokiris here and there, only to bump into a fence! The way she shakes it off and continues on her quest to save the world. She HAD to find the boy… the boy with no fairy. I guess it missed its mark with the rest of mankind, but to me she was established as an important character for the remainder of the game. Not just a cursor.

Whenever she went "hey!" I knew there was something I should watch out for, and eventually she became white noise just like every other sound effect in the game, just like the gazillion footsteps, Link's fierce war cry every time he swings his sword or rolls (HHYYYYAAAAAAHHH!!!!!) or the horrible warning you get when running low on hearts (on every single Zelda game). But still, a human voice is always a thousand times more pleasing to the ear than a random chime.

Why is it, then, that Navi gets so much hate? Nobody ever bashes Link's overacting. The answer is simple; it's just another internet meme that refuses to die. I'm pretty sure someone thought it'd be funny to post a video of her repeating her famous line over and over, then some idiot who had never played the game listened to it, reached the conclusion that Navi is annoying, and decided to forward it to his friends, who in turn started remixing the sound. Before you know it everybody hates Navy out of peer pressure. Do you even remember what the game is like? She never goes off on a loop like that! Lies, all lies!

If you're going to let the internet brainwash you, let Downcast do it. I'd never steer your wrong! Now fly! Buy yourself a Nintendo 3DS and a copy of Ocarina of Time 3D! Then come back in a week or two when I will have an in-depth review of the game, even though everybody knows it's awesome already! Go!

Outdated Review: 3D Classics: Exitebike

If you own a 3DS and you're reading this before July 7^th 2011, forget about this stupid blog and go download the game! It's free until then. If you don't, well, run and buy a 3DS! This game is really neat!

You've probably heard or even played the original so I'm not going to bore you with a 26 year old review (talk about outdated!) If you haven't, well, Google it, goshdarnit! Thousands of reviews have been posted over the ages, including gameplay videos!

What you might not be able to see in Google, though, is the awesome 3D effect accomplished in this game.

In terms of menus, you get a pre-game main screen with a high-res logo, a catchy tune and three options: Start Game, Records, and Options. When you hit Start Game you see the original splash screen (but with a checkered background). The options there are still Selection A, Selection B, and Design. In Design mode it reverts to the pre-game 2st century graphics to allow making tracks easier, and trust me, it is. It's also fun. You have 32 slots to save them and you can rename them. Truly awesome, too bad you can't share them online.

The real retro goodness occurs, of course, in Selection A or B modes. It's hard to describe (screenshots work better) but they literally just turned a 2D side scrolling motocross into a 3D masterpiece that still carries all the 8-bit nostalgia you'd get from a straight up emulator!

I strongly suggest launching this game with the 3D off. Originally what you see is a game adjusted for a wide screen. The graphics do not appear stretched or resized even though clearly the 3DS screen is of a higher resolution than a NES display, all you get is some extra track on the sides to fill the wider display. The gages and timers on bottom remain the same with some extra data thrown in. The magic occurs as you adjust the analog 3D slider, the track leans back accordingly without the slightest hint of smoothing or antialiasing or anything beyond 8-bit graphics in terms of color or resolution (even though it's clearly happening). Since now you can now see the horizon, you get to see more of the stadium, and even the sky with clouds.

The game plays exactly the same and the sounds are loyal to the original, including the dreaded "OVER HEAT" screech. Since higher pitched 8-bit sounds travel better over the air, you get a very loud experience, causing people around you to turn and look at the sounds that bring back pleasant memories from their childhoods (or annoy the heck out of them).

The game still carries a lot of replay value. As a kid I used to just jam on the gas button and aim for the big ramps. Now that I understand what is going on, I adjust my landings, manage my boost/heat ratio and focus on getting high scores. It's so much fun.

Even if you're not the early adopter kind and you miss the free promotion, I still recommend you pay for it.

Endgame Review: Face Raiders

In case you're wondering "What is this? An endgame review? But there was no review to begin with!" I suppose you're right, though I did mention it on the review for the console. I decided it to do an endgame review now because I did beat the game, I have nothing else to do, and because I felt like I owed you a follow up on that article I wrote about Nintendo's pack-in games. On that post, I mentioned the possibility of these games being killer apps, thus justifying the poor launch line up.

By definition, a killer app is a piece of software that is so good or essential it justifies the purchase of its required hardware, a console seller, if you will.

When you first launch Face Raiders, it'll ask you to take your own picture, aligning it to two dots and a line for the eyes and mouth. When you're done, the face pops away from the picture, laughs at you, and goes on a rampage. The following level has you shooting tennis balls at your own face. If you beat the level the face is added to your collection.

Gameplay-wise it's overly simplistic and at times reminiscent of an old-school space shooter. You see a target and you shoot it. You see a power-up and you shoot it. You see a projectile hurling towards you and you shoot it (or try to dodge it). Then you meet a boss, you figure out its movement patterns, invulnerable spots and weak spots, and hit it repeatedly until it's gone. Eventually targets become harder to hit, either by speed, shields, trickery or sheer multiplicity. There is a total of 6 levels, all played slightly differently. While fun, these facts alone do not sell games, let alone consoles.

What sets this game apart from the rest is the console-specific gimmickry. Once you scan your face (with the internal 2-d camera), it'll try to guess your age and gender, draw a polygonal 3D face, and animate it in a range of expressions. It is really nifty! You will find yourself laughing out loud and even yelling at the little faces trying to smooch you. As you keep playing the game will ask you to take more pictures, and it'll find more clever ways to obtain faces for your collection (I won't spoil these for you). You may at any point curate your face collection by fine-tuning the settings for any face (age, gender, alignment) or just deleting the ones you don't like. Eventually you'll start experimenting with capturing faces from pictures in magazines and even your computer monitor of celebrities, fictitious characters, animals and inanimate objects. By the way, did you recognize the guy in the screenshot?

Then there's the fact that the aiming is controlled entirely through the system's accelerometers and gyroscopes. You stand still and become a turret of sorts, warding off the onslaught of floating faces coming from all directions. Unless you're in perfect shape, like me, you will find yourself tired halfway through a level, and you may find keeping the screen straight for the 3D visuals to work to be a bit of a hassle until you get enough practice. Swinging your 3DS around in a train station might not be a good idea, so you can only play this game in private or with friends – the main reason it took me so long to beat. The aiming is very responsive, intuitive and lots of fun; just not very convenient at times.

So, is Face Raiders a killer app? I don't think so, at least not in the conventional way. This game definitely showcases the console's capabilities, and even features a "show a friend" mode. But at most it may have people thinking "hey, that 3DS sure can do nifty things, I might want to buy one" rather than "OMFG FACERAIDERS IS SO AWESOIME I NEED A 3DS IN ORDER OT PLAY IT RITE NAO!!1"

If you don't own a 3DS but know someone who has and you want to see what nifty tricks the system can do, have him or her show you this game. If you get a 3DS, you get this game for free and it's definitely worth at least one play-around. If you want a killer app to justify blowing $250 on a cosmo black 3DS, stand by for Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D.

Revenge of the (hardcore) Nerds

Fueled by the criticism on the recently unveiled "Project Café", random internet trolling and the fact that I have absolutely nothing to do at work today, I've decided to revisit the hardcore VS casual subject. Last time I did it I analyzed what made a game hardcore, and took a very "why can't we be friends?" approach. This time around it's personal (read: random internet trolling); I'm going to discuss what constitutes being a hardcore gamer. So hold on, kids, you might get your feelings hurt.

Before I went on, I did a little research, as any good writer should. The first trend I noticed is that whenever anyone brings up the subject, they always make a disclaimer that the term is broadly used and has no set definition. That pretty much destroys the hardcore's argument, but I went on researching, looking for the aspects most definitions had in common, and I came up with these "four pillars of hardcoreness", as I like to call them:

• Skill – A hardcore gamer is a skilled gamer
  
• Time devoted – A hardcore gamer plays a lot and is subject to rigorous training
  
• Competition – A hardcore gamer displays their skills on the arena, participating in online matches or live tournaments
  
• Production value – A hardcore gamer only plays pretty-looking games on cutting-edge systems
  

Now, according to these principals, my wife is probably the l337est of all hardcore gamers. She plays a minimum of 2 hours daily, she has memorized all the stats, she is respected in the on-line community… She is a hardcore YoVille player. You n00bs better recognize. Last time I asked she owned 25 houses in the game (some of those cost real money, yo!) Most of them are fully decorated – with varied themes ranging from Victorian and classic Japanese to 50's diner and haunted house – while some are just for storage. Yes, she holds a collection of valuable and rare items so immense, the in-game inventory system is not enough.

If she were to sell these items for their in-game cash value (reversing the cost of coins purchased via microtransactions) in the black market, she would make thousands of dollars, effectively turning her into a pro. Yes kids, unless you can make a living out of it, you're not a professional, look it up!

Besides her skill in dominating the in-game market, hosting parties, matching outfits and kicking ass at auctions, unlike most of you wannabe hardcore gamers, she is skilled in more than one genre. How many of you n00bs can even beat Super Mario Bros 2? Not that Doki Doki Panic bullshit with the turnips, the real one, released in the US as "SMB: The lost levels". That shit is hard, yo!

The truth is out; your standards for hardcoreness are contradictory. So what's the point? I'll tell you the point.

Self-proclaimed hardcore gamers are the bitter nerds that got their asses kicked in school for playing video games instead of sports and now see the opportunity to belong to a privileged class and to oppress others.

Instead of stealing the inferior classes' lunch money, these gamers roam the internet trolling and being all-around assholes. I'm sure at one point in the day the Google terms like "Nintendo", "Pokémon" or "DS" only to go and post their foul comments. Why do you hate Mario? What did he do to you? Why have you forsaken him after he welcomed you to the world of video games with open arms?

The truth is and always will be that shovelware is very profitable simply because of the lower production costs and now it has become far more accessible with the advent of the smartphone and the social network. Now, people who have never played a video game find themselves turned into gamers, but to them the gaming scene is only the shovelware they've been taught to love. Real video games are still in the shelves because this new generation of gamers finds the whole gaming scene hostile and intimidating. Not because the games are hard, but because the players are jerks.

Now, what's going to happen to these jocks of the gaming era? The same thing that happened to the jocks of yesterday; eventually the geeks took over and became the new "cool" while their dumber counterparts became the laughingstock of the internet. Soon casual gamers will become the majority, and they go on with their lives, tending to their jobs, spouses, kids and Farmvilles, hardcore gamers will fade into obscurity, taking with them the most beautiful form of art, only because they wanted to feel superior.

Can we stop this gaming apocalypse? Yes; and we start by supporting the efforts of gaming companies trying to put out quality and innovative games without biased bigotry. A videogame is a video game, and a gamer is a gamer. Stop hating, instead, judge software or hardware by its playability and quality, not by its target audience. Step out of your comfort zone every once in a while. Only this way will the good games become more attractive to the masses, thus more profitable than the cheap shovelware polluting our world. Your children will thank you.

Open drunken letter to Square-Enix

In order to make this blog post more amusing, let's all pretend I was drunk when I wrote it. If possible, use a slurred voice when reading it in your head. I apologize in advance for the lack of typos.

Dear Square-Enix:

Enough with the old school remakes already! Geez! We get it, guys; these games are classics, cool. Yeah, yeah, they're profitable, all right. But seriously, man, like, the first wave of remakes for the PSONE is 10 years old!

When are we going to see remakes for that third generation of Final Fantasies? Clearly, you had no issues with teasing us with the infamous Final Fantasy VII tech demo. You saw the fans' response. You know we want it badly… Why are you holding back?

You know what? I don't even want an excuse; just start working on those already! I'm aware VII, VIII and IX are going to be a bit tricky to re-do because of the combination of polygon and pre-rendered graphics, the fact that gameplay revolved around those, at-the-time innovative graphics and that you might want to make them extra special… so, fine, take your time.

But have you ever stopped to think about the Fourth generation? You can easily port everything from X to XII to the current gen of handhelds with little or no work at all! That might appease us angry, broken hearted, drunken fans!

I'm pretty sure you can cram a Final Fantasy X + X-2 special 3D edition into a 3DS cart in less than a week and sell it for 40 bucks. You can make the graphics 3D really easy, add a quick-save mode and it's a perfect hand-held game!

You could do the same with XII and XII-2, I suppose. How about the MMO? I'm positive you can cram XI into the current Wi-Fi-enabled handhelds!

Please, square-enix, I like FFIV as much as the next guy, but we've played it to death already. We need newer old stuff. Oh, and keep on making new stuff too.

Sincerely:

Teh 201d

Review: SUPER Street Fighter IV 3D Edition

Let's take this outside!

I still can't believe I've been able to play all these wonderful games on a new system this soon! Two weeks after I acquired my 3DS with Ridge Racer 3D, my wife got me a copy of Super Street Fighter IV 3D edition! Just like RR, I had been wanting to play this game for a long time, and hadn't got a change until now.

My most recent Street Fighter experience was Street Fighter Alpha 3 on the Dreamcast. I had played SFIII on the arcades once or twice as well as a couple different "Versus" installments. When SFIV came out I was dying to try it, but there was no way I could justify the purchase of a next-gen console, besides, to me it would feel like a waste if I didn't acquire a proper high-definition display for it. Well, I did try SFIV on an iPhone a few weeks before the 3DS came out, but it was a sad experience I'd rather forget.

My first impressions on SSFIV as a sequel to SSFIII (not as a 3DS port) were all favorable. I think it was all very nicely done. The thing that made the biggest difference to me was the quality of the game's localization. All my previous SF experiences involved characters shouting taunts or narrating their own moves in Japanese, with some rather sloppy text dialogues. This time around all characters were voiced in English (with proper accents, even!) and only resort to Japanese when using karate terms or such. Most of the voices are spot-on, few are way off, and some are just OK.

The other thing I noticed is that Dan was not as silly as usual. Yes, I'm a Dan fan. To me he is the greatest character in video game history. I'm a very casual SF player anyway and until recently, I'd only play the AI, so I could afford to play any character I chose. In the age of online multiplayer, Dan has gained a new purpose: If I'm going to lose, I might as well drop a few taunts before I go down. I really wish he had retained some of that awesome voice over-acting from the Alpha series, as well as the infamously annoying rolling taunt, but I'm just happy that he's back.

During online matches I always pick Dan, I presume I'll never get to the higher levels and if the matchmaking works, I should only fight people who are as god with their character of choice as I am with Dan. The only problem is that I encounter many players who are obviously more experienced but seem to have reset their accounts only to torment us newbies.

Now, regarding SSFIV3D as a port (rather than a sequel), I must say I'm very impressed. The only compromise I noticed was that the backgrounds were static, and some of the elements look like cardboard cutouts, especially in Dynamic 3D mode. They might have slightly reduced the polygon count on characters, but you can barely notice it on the smaller screen. None of these changes affect the game play, in fact, the game developers have stated they used the same code for this port, and it definitely feels like so.

There might have been some changes regarding online play options, but what else do you really need besides versus? The game has a decent matchmaking service, and you can also have other players challenge you locally when playing in arcade mode. All other changes from the console versions were necessary because of the change in platform. At least they didn't have to steamroll the game like they had to do for it to fit in an iPhone!

First change was in the control options. Now, before you go on about how the only way to play being an arcade stick: Shut up. The true hardcore honed their skills with a SNES controller when there were only eight characters in the roster. Capcom brought back this classic controller layout (using the shoulder buttons for the high kick/punch input) and aptly named it "Pro" mode. As an alternative, they added "lite" mode, which splits the touchscreen in quadrants, each acting as an extra button (10 buttons, total); by default this uses the same scheme as Pro mode and assigns your character's super combo to top-left, ultra combo to bottom-left, and two special moves to the right panels. You can then go and customize all 10 buttons to your liking, assigning any punch or kick, actual special moves, or even super combos.

The idea behind this was to make it more accessible to players who might not love the 3DS button layout, casual gamers or people new to the series. It might make players too powerful, not because of the ease of use, but because Lite moves are instantaneous; this affects the game's delicate balance.

If I had it my way, I'd have an intermediate control mode, in which the character actually goes through the motions in real-time at the slowest speed at which the move would actually work while you hold down the button. This way you can't have annoying little kids spamming sumo smash all over the place.

Luckily, you can always opt out of "Lite" mode as well as deny requests from challengers using a different control scheme as you. Everybody happy!

They added a rather amusing StreetPass feature and are even sending out periodic announcements via SpotPass. There is an achievement-based medal system and you also unlock different icons for your profile as you progress. Definitely not selling points, but nice to have.

For those wondering how the 3D works, well, it just does. You can play with the traditional camera angle, where the characters and backgrounds look a little nicer thanks to the extra depth, or you can switch to dynamic 3D mode. While using the latter, the camera assumes a third-person perspective from behind your character, but at a certain angle so your character never eclipses your opponent and you can clearly see where your punches and kicks are going. The added depth allows you to accurately measure distances and looks amazing in motion (try doing kikokens using the alternate 1 costume). This is the mode I use the most.

In conclusion, the game is not a handheld port; it's the 3D edition. It adds to the experience even if you've played the console versions to boredom. This title definitely gets the Downcast Seal of Approval.

Review: Ridge Racer 3D

Man. I'm so pumped! I'm playing launch games! How cool is that? I haven't felt like this since the PlayStation (one)!

I remember I got that console at launch with… some stupid XTREME sports title… but luckily, back in the day, the game store had a "no questions asked" warranty, so I beat the game in a week and returned it for being crappy. I exchanged it for Ridge Racer and later got Battle Arena Toshinden. There's no better way to break into the world of 3D (polygonal) graphics than with a racing game! Although, sure, I had already burnt some serious polygon rubber with Virtua Racing and Stunt Race FX… this time I could do it to my favorite tunes! Good times…

When I first read that RR would be among the launch titles for the Nintendo 3DS, I knew it'd be my launch title of choice. I had been wanting to play a RR game since Ridge Racer Type Four, the only title in the series I owned besides the first. I'd periodically play it up until a few months ago. Yes, it was that much appealing.

For those of you not familiar with the series, RR is what some call an "arcade racer" mainly because it does not focus on realistic physics or licensed vehicles. However, I believe it does not belong in the same genre as Outrun or Cruisin' USA (series that I also hold VERY dear). While some arcade racers let you do flips and barrel rolls or encourage you to drive into oncoming traffic, Ridge Racer wants you to dive three laps on a closed circuit within a small town at maximum RPM all the way; it's about precision driving, nothing fancy.

To accomplish this, the physics may be a bit off, but you only notice this when you're screwing up. For example, if you bump into a wall you see some sparks flying, but all it does is slow you down a gear or two. If you bump into another car, you may go into an involuntary drift, losing some precious RPM while you're recovering, just as when you over-drift a not-so-tough corner and start fishtailing like a Big Mouth Billy Bass on crack. When any of these situations happen, you may go "WOAH, WHAT'D JUST HAPPEN!!" but you'll pick right up and hopefully you may catch up with the other cars before the third lap is over. It never really spoils the fun.

When you're doing it right, though… man! Then, what you get is a hypnotizing symphony of pure drifting ecstasy. There's no hairpin turn you can't squeeze through at top speed. You're flying. It's awesome.

Just like in the first iteration of the series, you're racing against a bunch of other cars that get to go first and gain super speed relative to their starting position during the first lap. In other words, the cars don't bunch together, and you'll be catching up with car number one by the end of the second lap if you're really good. Again, not very realistic, but fun!

All locations and vehicles are fictitious, but very, very nice to look at.

Now, if you're not new to the series, you may be wondering what's new. Well, I don't know what's being going on since R4, but I can tell you they got rid of R4's "career/story" mode. I miss that. Grand prix in RR3D is just a selection of one to three events, with four races each, which unlock another group of events of a slightly more difficult category (faster cars). Most of these events will unlock new cars, new "types" of vehicles you may already have or nitrous kits for those you already have. By unlock I mean available to purchase with points you earn by winning races in the different play modes.

I found the vehicle selection quite disappointing. I'm about halfway through the game already and so far, cars aren't very different to each other in the first place, ending up in one of three drift categories. Also, you are only shown the machine's drift type and top speed. More data would've been really useful, Capcom! What'll happen is you'll grow used to a "favorite car", usually the one with the greatest speed among your drift type of choice, and it'll all be about racing all the tracks on it until you have them committed to muscle memory. Thankfully, there are a lot of tracks. I got goose bumps the first time I ran the track from the original Ridge Racer… in 3D!

I miss the R4 story mode, not because of the cheesy dialogue, but because in R4 you didn't get to choose your car. There were only a handful of tracks that you'd have to run in a preset order. But since you were running under a different team each grand prix, you'd have to re-learn them as the cars had very different handling styles and speeds. If you did well you'd unlock the best cars for that team, if you barely made it just would keep upgrading the "base" car, and if you did just OK, you'd unlock some neat cars as well, just not as fast.

I would have preferred a "more cars, less tracks" approach. But RR3D is still an awesome game, and I hope I unlock more unique cars as I play. Stay tuned for my endgame review!

Now that I've discussed Ridge Racer as a game series, I'll cover how it plays on this unique platform, the 3DS. First off, there is no online multiplayer, you only get local play and even then, there's no download play (so your friends must own the game as well). That sucks. However this game is mostly about losing yourself and becoming one with the track, I doubt human competition can add much to that, especially when said competition is composed of strangers or friends that haven't had a chance to hone their skills yet. The game will display avatars and names on top of all cars by default; I found it too distracting so I turned it off. You can use a Mii, a preset icon, or take a picture to display as your avatar.

The 3D graphics, in my opinion, add a lot to the game. You can make even more precise moves and it helps you understand the scene better when it gets too chaotic. Also, it looks prettier. This doesn't mean the game is unplayable on 2D mode. I suggest you use 2d (or the 3d slider turned way down) whenever you're not resting your elbows on a surface. When the racing gets too intense one tends to tilt the game and the ensuing "ghosting" may make you bump into a wall.

The sound is perfect and the announcer is as annoying as ever. To me the announcer eventually becomes white noise, but I don't turn it off (yes, you have the option) because sometimes it provides valuable information, like when an opponent nearby is using nitrous or someone is drafting you. The music is pretty neat, but not my favorite, even when some classic tunes are included either unaltered or remixed. I miss the jazzy beats of r4 or the twitchy techno beats of the original. I don't see myself burning a CD of these tracks to play on my car, as I did with the older versions.

The game also has a "quick tour" mode in which you tell the game how much free time you have and it prepares an event for you. It's really neat when you know you won't be having time for a full-on grand prix, but all you get from it, besides practice, is points. So far I haven't unlocked anything in this mode.

I like what they did with the StreetPass feature. Besides trading your records for the different tracks, players using this feature will exchange Time Attack mode data they have saved, so other players may effectively race their "ghost". You are awarded points just for finding a contact, and some more if you beat their ghost; it's automatically deleted once you beat it. The only problem with this is that not all players enjoy Time Attack mode (I personally don't find it as rewarding). So if you only play grand prix and never create any ghosts, all you're sending is a notification, your rankings and some easy points.

Before launch, many criticized the game because of Namco's reputation to have a Ridge Racer title ready for the launch of almost every console after the PS1. The truth is that, even though the graphics could be better, the game does not feel rushed at all. They did not forcibly tack on unnecessary system features (it does not use AR Cards, motion sensors, SpotPass, Game Coins or the built-in microphone) nor is it a direct port of a console game. No, it is indeed a fine tuned machine; worth every one of the 3,999 pennies it cost me.

I know I will still be playing this game when I'm through with many others, until they release a sequel, which will definitely push the system to its limits.

Do not adjust your computer!

What you're seeing is normal. I posted three (well, four, counting this) articles today! My computer had been at the shop so I kept writing at work and uploaded everything when it came back. Enjoy!

Facebook killed the video game star

Hoo boy. It seems like the topic of "hardcore" versus "casual" gaming and social network games has been brought back from the dead. Didn't I already end this conflict with my Undeniable Logic™? Geez! Looks like someone hasn't been reading my blog!

For those of you that have been living under a rock (and for the hyperlink impaired), it all started when Nintendo's CEO, Satoru Iwata included a strong critique of such games in his keynote speech at the GDC2011. One would assume he was trying to persuade game developers not to give up on "real" games to focus on games with less "value" or "content", manly social network games or iPhone games because of the increased cost/effort/profit ratio.

If you ask me, I definitely see his point. Here you have powerful corporations investing millions to put out the latest in videogame systems, only to have all the talented game developers make another Angry Birds (or as Iwata would say: "Angry Verse") clone. From his point of view (based on sales figures, mostly), this is a bad thing. And I don't want bad things to happen to Nintendo.

From my point of view, Social network games are the ultimate evil, but that is mostly because of their questionable ethics. Smartphone games are not a serious threat from where I stand, mainly because I do not own a smartphone. But even if I did, I'd only get free games as a novelty.

Anyhow, before the riots begin, I come with a series of proposals to end this debacle; because I'm awesome like that. But it's not going to be pretty.

During a discussion in an online forum I frequent, someone mentioned the possibility great games suddenly turning into Farmville's would be like books turning into comics.

So I thought this would be a great analogy. There are many kinds of media based on print. Hardcovers, paperbacks, newspapers, magazines, comic books… and these different formats are divided by sub-formats, then genres and subgenres.

Up until today, Farmville, World of Warcraft, Angry Birds, Tetris and The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time would all be placed in together on the "Video Games" shelf (oh, the blasphemy!). And if at any rate the games are separated, it's by platform. PlayStation games are put on a shelf right next to the Wii games… both on the Video Games section.

The only problem is that in the end they are all called "video games", and they're still compared to each other on an equal scale.

The concept has grown too big, but yet the people who create these pieces of art, and the people who consume them, are expected to wrap themselves around it.

The video games industry should really look into the printing industry for ideas as of how to make clear divisions between the different platforms and genres, and how to make each of them individually respected as a genuine form of art. And I think they should start by stopping the use of the term "video game".

Here's my proposal, first, "Video" no longer our universal format:

• Console Game
  
• Handheld Game
  
• Smartphone Game
  
• Social Network Game
  
• Web-based Game
  

Second, "game" is no longer the universal genre:

• Console Action/Platformer
  
• Handheld Puzzle/RPG
  
• Smartphone RTS
  
• Social Network Farming Simulator
  
• Web-based Fighter
  

Sure, the industry is going to have to come up with catchier, more marketable terms, but other than that I think the problem is mostly solved. I'm aware the boundaries between these platforms and genres are quite blurred, the same applies to print, and you can still find what you're looking for in a bookstore after all these centuries.

I know it's sad. But I'm afraid there is no other way. From this point on, developers would specialize in one or a few of these entirely separate concepts. Kids would walk up to their mothers and say "Mom, when I grow up I want to be an RPG designer!" FPS jocks would drop the "gamer" façade, face the fact that all they care for is First Person Shooters, and leave us Puzzlers alone. If a really stupid game comes out for the iPhone, it would not stain the PlayStation's reputation…

…From this point on, When Nintendo dedicates millions of dollars to designing a new gaming platform; their CEO will already have an idea of what developers are working on and what the public is consuming. From this point on, anyone who's serious about gaming can completely disregard the existence of Farmville.

How I'd make Nintendo VS Capcom work

I've read a couple stories lately about the concept of a Nintendo VS Capcom being brought up in interviews with Nintendo and Capcom executives.

Most fans worry about how the endless cast of characters would be balanced. I'll share my Ideas because I'm bored to death at work.

Art Style

The game definitely needs to be sprite-based. The art style needs to be cartoony, with a 16 bit feel, preferably hand-drawn. Ooh! I know, make it like Paper Mario! The good thing about this style is that back in the day most games adhered to a standard scale for characters and levels. Large levels with small sprites would provide for really creative level design and would provide for bonus levels and even boss battles.

Roster

Emphasis should be on characters from all genres, with only a handful of characters from actual fighting games. Obscure characters are a must. Different "costumes" would be awesome, especially with older characters like Mario and Mega Man, who have changed their designs over the decades.

Format

Some say "Make it like the VS series" (IE. Marvel VS Capcom), some say "Make it like the Super Smash Bros. series. My humble proposal: Make it like Pocket Fighter (A.K.A. Super Gem Fighter Mini Mix). This game had a clever way of balancing Street Fighter, DarkStalkers and Red Earth characters: Make them disarmingly cute.

Extras

Besides the brawling, the game should feature stages where the characters can do what they do best: There could be a platforming game, A shooting game where Mega Man and Samus can decide who is the master of the arm-cannon, and other options that don't directly involve punching your opponent repeatedly. These could be implemented in the form of boss battles.

Now that we're taking Pocket Fighter as an example, a Puzzle Fighter (only, like, the best puzzle game ever) mode could be included.

Platform

This game should be made for portable platforms. This would justify a simpler game, which would make it easier to balance all the content. I'm leaning towards the Nintendo 3DS but that may be because I'm an absolute fanboy.

My 3DS

In classic Downcast fashion, I'm posting this waaaay late. You see, I DID get the 3DS on 3/27 at 12:00 AM EASTERN, but I thought I'd really get to know it before I made my judgment. Besides, I was having too much fun to be writing for this pointless little blog.

First issue I want to get out of the way is the 3D effect. Here are the facts:

• It's very impressive. In my launch title of choice, Ridge Racer 3D, the 3D effect really shines. You can see the road stretch forever as your car becomes a blur, then suddenly a little leaf falls and sticks to the "windshield" and steals your heart.
  
• It's really pretty. This is hard to explain without visuals, but having a different image shot at each eyeball doubles the screen resolution! Your brain possesses some epic anti-aliasing effects, especially when the images are in motion!
  
• It definitely adds to the game play. I found it harder to play Ridge Racer with the 3D off, once I had gotten used to it. Some games might not benefit as much, though. It's also well known that Nintendo is working on software titles designed to do things they couldn't do before because of the lack of depth perception, mainly a proper Super Mario Bros. game (I'll have none of this Galaxy nonsense!) in which jumping from one platform to another becomes the main focus of the game again.
  
• It's still tricky. I didn't find the infamous "sweet spot" to be so elusive, (Just keep it centered and parallel to your eyes) but sometimes you tilt the screen a bit when the playing gets too intense, and it's horrible. One of the cleverest features in this system is the 3D analog slider; you can always adjust the effect or turn it off on the fly. I normally turn it down real low when I suspect I will be moving a lot, since the images are not so different the "ghosting" is entirely negligible. Also, after a few hours you'll start holding it at a right angle on muscle memory. If you absolutely hate the 3D, the graphics are still gorgeous on 2D. I just hope software developers eventually start using the user-facing camera and motion sensors to have the software ease off on the 3D when you're breaking the sweet spot.
  
• It has all the nuisances of real-life 3D. Do you know that feeling when someone tries to show you something but holds it too close to your eyes and you find it hard to focus so you instinctively push it away? This does not happen because real life has poorly implemented 3D visuals; that is just the way your eyes work! There may be times in a game when you're looking far into the background then something pops up in front of you, back in the days of 2D this wouldn't be an issue. I hope developers design their game to minimize situations like these.
  
• It takes some getting used to. At first, after some extended play my eyes felt tired, and I was seeing blurry for a bit. I suggest you seriously consider the in game "take a break" warnings, and just turn the 3D off altogether when playing in less-than optimal conditions until you've gotten used to it. It wasn't long at all before my eyes didn't feel tired when I was done playing. Seriously, if you still find it uncomfortable after a week, I suggest you switch the effect off and see an eye doctor.
  

Now that I've covered the 3D aspect, let me tell you about everything else. On day 2, while trying out Street Fighter IV 3D in a demo unit at a game store, I overheard a guy saying "It's just a more expensive DS with 3D". Let me assure you it's not. Yes, it is still an upgrade to a DS, I mean, hey only added a "3" to the logo, but so much more has been upgraded. It is indeed the next generation. It's to the DS as the Playstation 2 is to the Playstation.

The wider, sharper top screen is definitely delightful to look at. If you have been spoiled rotten by the iPhone's gorgeous 326 PPI pixel density, this might look disappointing, but I crunched some numbers and turns out the 3DS, in 2D mode, has a 133.28 PPI (pixels per inch) rate but PPI goes up to 238 in 3D. This might be debatable as the screen is split in half for each eye, but remember that the 3DS costs less than half as much as an iPhone and there are no monthly fees. So yeah, for the cost, the screen density is great.

Speaking of things the iPhone doesn't have, the new analog nub is perfect! It's so nice I've brought out my old DS games and have been playing them a lot more now; even with the slight distortion from enlarging the DS-sized picture (polygonal graphics are still rendered in high-res). It's a bummer they didn't include a second nub, as most games nowadays require it, but the touch screen more than makes up for it. The only thing I didn't like at all is the kind of buttons they used for start, select and home; they are almost impossible to find by touch and usually required a bit of extra effort to press, luckily most games don't use them.

Graphics wise, I can say this is the first time I play a handheld with home-console-grade graphics. Traditionally handhelds are two or three generations behind their home counterparts and the graphics on ports feel forced, but that is not the case. The graphics can be easily compared to the previous generation of current home consoles, like Dreamcast, PS2 and even Wii.

Something else that gives it a console-y feel is that the system doesn't have a start-up screen, the first indicator that you're not supposed to turn it off EVER. You're supposed to carry it around wherever you go so it can wirelessly communicate with other 3DS systems and exchange information. Each game you own can be registered for StreetPass and the feature will work even when another game is loaded. This adds yet another social aspect to the whole experience. This way you can share items, scores, characters, and the joy of owning a 3DS with total strangers on the street.

There is a toolbar of sorts on top of the lower screen with four functions that can be used when in the home menu, even when a game is suspended in the background (multitasking!): Notes, Friend List, Notifications and the Web Browser. You can also take pictures by hitting L or R. These applications are pretty self-explanatory. Additionally, this toolbar shows brightness controls, battery status, date, time and steps taken and "coin" balance (more on this later)..

When using the Friend List you can register nearby friends wirelessly or via friend code. When one of them is online, you get a blinking led notification and you can check here for their status and what game they're currently playing. You can even update your "status message" kind of like a social network. When a friend logs on and off the status is updated for you to see even after they're gone. As far as I know, there is no way to exchange messages with your friends.

The system also comes with some neat pre-installed software. Every "game" is obviously designed to be the ultimate marketing tool by showcasing one or more of each of the features of the system. They apparently worked so hard on these that some of the promised software got delayed. The web browser and "app store" equivalent should be available in May along with (hopefully) a few surprises).

With AR Games you can place enhanced-reality cards on a flat surface to make 3D images appear on top of them and interact with them. The games are fine on the long run, but very neat to show off. One of the games lets you use the character-specific cards to see 3D figurines of them. I was blown away when I started switching cards and it responded almost instantly, then I accidentally panned too far to the card pile and it read the card on top as well! Turns out you can use all 6 cards at once! This, together with the wireless capabilities, gives us a pretty clear idea of what the next Pokémon game will be like.

Face Raiders lets you collect "faces" to use into an enhanced-reality shooter. This one showcases the motion sensors as you have to swing the 3DS around scanning your room for… uh, faces. It also showcases the system's cameras and face-recognition capabilities. This is an awesome game and if it didn't make me look so goofy I'd play it all the time. It also has a convenient "show a friend" mode.

Mii Plaza doesn't offer much to show your friends, but does a great job at spreading the joys of streetpass. You send your Mii around with a custom greeting and some basic gaming stats. The Miis you receive can be used in two minigames within. One has you collecting puzzle pieces for different pictures and the other sends the recruited Miis to a dungeon rescue mission. I found the latter to be really addicting.

The new Mii maker (as opposed to the old one on the Wii) can make a Mii (that probably won't look like you) based on your picture. You can proceed to fix it with the enhanced customization options.

There are sound and photo apps like in the DSi, but with a handful of extra features, each. This time around you can play music in most digital formats, and in most cases you can watch pictures that were not taken with the built in cameras.

The activity log turns your system into a pedometer whenever it's on sleep mode, and awards you points you can exchange in different games. The amount of daily steps is displayed as well as daily game usage. You earn 10 Play Coins for every 100 steps with a maximum of 10 per day and 300 total. I really wish I could earn more coins but I guess they capped it to reduce the need for cheating; I once maxed out my coins on a Sunday without leaving the house.

Now that I mention the pedometer, it's about time I get to the airing of grievances!

On day 2 I took 3,973 steps (Oh yeah, I check the activity log quite regularly), including two train stations and a huge mall with stops in 2 game shops and an arcade. I only got one StreetPass contact! I'm afraid they were thinking the rest of the world is also Tokyo when they designed this. But maybe I'm worrying too much; it'd only been a day since it came out.

So don't have a lot StreetPass "guests", that's OK; I might have to format my 3DS' memory anyway in order to turn it in to have it replaced! I suspect I got a defective right speaker and a slightly wobbly hinge. I did some research and those seem to be common issues with the first shipment, and not really that common. Sometimes I get this buzzing from the right speaker as if it were vibrating against the plastic case, very annoying. It's gone now, but I still worry it may come back; Is it broken or is it just poorly designed and some moving parts inside are rattling loose (the 3d slider maybe?), or maybe the volume control on the software-side is not properly calibrated. The screen only wobbles so slightly, but if the speaker keeps acting up I'm having it replaced. Anyway, when you get yours, test it at the store, there have been reports of defective units.

On the software side, even though we were warned, I can't help to be disappointed that most of the features will be available after the May update. I say this because, together with the underwhelming streetpass support, there is nearly no social aspect to the system unless you buy a game with multiplayer that your friends are into. It gets real lonely, real fast.

Besides that, the system was worth every penny, and it certainly met all my expectations. I'm anxiously waiting to see what's around the corner when the May update comes, meanwhile, at $40 a pop, I should have a rather healthy library of games in no time, so stay tuned for more of my infamous Outdated reviews!

Seriously?

This is some serious bullshit! Why didn't Downcast get a pre-launch 3DS? Pretty much every other gaming site got one! Even Tiny Cartridge got one!

Here at Downcast we are SERIOUS about video game journalism. We have committed countless minutes to seriously hyping the 3DS and being total absolute fanboys about it. And by we I mean I.

I can guarantee at least one sale has come from our hyping (mine is already preordered).

So, Reggie, if you're reading this, drop me a line so I can send you my address and your models can come over (might want to send dudes because the wife will probably be here) with that nifty box and all that software and stuff and we can all just forget about this huge misunderstanding.

Review: Dance Central

Yesterday I had the chance to try (for a few hours) another one of Kinect's flagship titles, Dance Central. Now, I've already about written my opinion on this whole Kinect business, and before I go on, I'll say my opinion remains unchanged; Kinect is stupid.

Now that I've made myself clear, let me tell you, Dance Central was LOTS of fun, and I hate dancing. If I had the money, I'd buy this game (and an Xbox360… and a Kinect, I guess…) right away. The game has a very neat selection of music with songs of most danceable genres from the 70s up to recent hits. Besides that, the dance moves, themselves, were fun. I always played on easy mode, but I suspect even on harder modes there won't be any moves that'll require you to be a professional dancer or gymnast. The graphics were pretty, the menus intuitive. And well… That's it, there isn't much to say, I mean, c'mon, it's just a dance game. I don't think it is possible to lose at that game, though. Your performance is always perfect, OK, or something in between.

I also found navigating the menus a lot better. That the horrid Kinect Adventures. Rather than having you awkwardly reach for the mirror reflection of a button, you just extend your right arm. Point it upwards or downwards to scroll, and swipe left to accept. Swiping your left arm cancels the selection.

Now, you may be wondering how is it that I enjoyed the game so much even when I hate Kinect. Ah, well, it's simple. With Dance Central, you kind of forget the Kinect is (mis)reading your movements. You're having too much fun flailing and gyrating to reverse-engineer it. I did observe it, and I reckon the miss/hit ratio is around 3 out of 10. Meaning, three out of ten times, you'll just flail and it'll still acknowledge that as a successful move. So as long as you keep dancing to the catchy beat you should get a decent score.

Instead of forcing an avatar to mimic your movements, the game features pre-designed characters with different costumes and even voice acting performing a flawless choreography. Little icons, or flags, come up to tell you wish move comes next, and the only indicator you're doing wrong is that sometimes the character's arms, legs or hips are highlighted in red. A small "mirror" shows your silhouette making an ass out of itself. The whole thing is on rails, so if you fail, it's not as if you missed dodging a missile. You do your little jig one step at a time and in about half a second, it adds the corresponding points to your score, accompanied by a comment by the announcer and a flashy visual effect. How much flair depends on how close you were to the dummy, but you never really fail. It is because of this repetitive and predictive dynamic, that Kinect's slow response does not affect your enjoyment of the game.

In conclusion, the game is good. Get it of you can, and definitely play it with friends. Just be aware that the Kinect peripheral is going to be useless for any other kind of game.

Killer Apps

Compared with our past products, we have largely enriched the pre-installed software for Nintendo 3DS. As we were internally discussing how we could overcome the hurdle that the 3D viewing of Nintendo 3DS without a need for special glasses can be only appreciated through the users' actual hands–on experience, we made the decision to allocate some of our own development resources to the pre-installed software. - Nintendo's CEO, Satoru Iwata

Lately I've been having second thoughts as of whether I should buy the 3DS at launch or wait. The biggest reason being the minuscule software selection at launch. Wherever I went for information people agreed that the console had been rushed, and developers were not given enough time to come up with the mandatory Mario game. Instead, all we get is a bunch of ports of games that already existed in other platforms.

The people demand a killer app for their brand new machine. Have they forgotten Nintendo is the king of killer apps? Let me bring forth a couple of examples:

Super Mario Bros/Duck Hunt.

In the days of the NES, when we said "let's play Nintendo" we meant "let's play SMB until our thumbs bleed". This game changed the way video games were thought of. Suddenly there was so much that could be done! When you can run, jump, and stomp on enemies, you've got yourself a solid game. But when you can break brick walls, shoot fireballs, climb vines into the clouds, kick turtle shells around, and freaking SWIM as well… you've got a killer app. SMB fueled the imaginations of this generation, and until recently, most videogames were based on that formula.

Super Mario World

Sure, we had played SMB and its sequels, we knew what could and could not be done in a videogame (because we hadn't seen Yoshi yet), but nothing could prepare us for the beauty of 16-bit graphics. To this day I find the music in SMW glorious, and I seriously believe there is no way you could improve its graphics. Finally, there were so many secrets hidden within the game it kept us going back again and again…

Tetris

Dude, Tetris, c'mon! Only, like the best handheld game ever! Most people who owned Game Boys only owned Tetris, and it was all they needed.

Wii Sports

Just like SMB, when you hear someone say "let's play Wii" you know they probably mean Wii Sports, and just like Tetris, many Wii owners only own Wii Sports. When the console was launched, they had something nobody else had: the motion controls, and the only way to sell this new concept to the masses was to include a game that brilliantly utilized all of these new features, and to make it fun to share. Then they launched the "Wii would like to play" campaign to encourage players to share with their friends and families. My mother owns a Wii. She had never played a video game before and, trust me, we tried.

Did you notice a trend there? Yes, all these games came packed-in with the consoles. The disk or cartridge was in the same box as the hardware. They were one. These games not only DEFINED the system, they SOLD it.

When you're considering the 3DS' launch lineup, don't forget the pack-ins (actually pre-installed this time). You see, it's hard to sell the 3DS to someone who hasn't held it physically because you can't show the 3d effect on print or TV. They need the selling power of the pack-ins more than ever! You will notice each piece of software pre-installed on the 3DS is by itself a "trick" you'd want to show your friends. 3D camera and AR cards show off the 3D cameras, Face Raiders showcases the motion controls, Activity Log highlights active gaming, and the Mii maker and SpotPass games highlight the social gaming aspect. From what I've heard, these games are actually pretty neat, although I don't think they have a lot of long-term replay value.

Don't let fanboy speculation lead you to believe Nintendo is slacking off and relying on third parties for premium software. It's not that the games are late; it's that the console was early. They need the public to be exposed to the hardware so we "understand it" by the time they start stacking software on the shelves. Over the next few weeks after launch, Nintendo will start releasing updates for the system, like the E-shop and web browser, after that the possibilities will be endless.

A secondary effect of this approach is that third-party developers will get more shelf space during launch, increasing sales and increasing third-party support over the life of the system.

So. What am I trying to say with this post? Well, if you're not sure whether you should get a 3DS now or wait, consider these options:

1. If you're a Nintendo fan and you trust them, go ahead and preorder the 3DS, the pack-ins will keep you entertained until the good software starts coming out (if none of the earlier launch titles appeals to you). You get to be the first kid on the block to put an AR card in your grandma's coffee table, thus participating in Nintendo's brilliant marketing plan: the fate of this system relies entirely on the early adopter crowd.
   
2. If you're absolutely positive the preinstalled software is crap, I suggest you wait until a game you really want comes out. In the meantime, keep an eye on the media and talk to your friends; I'm pretty sure one of them already owns a 3DS and is dying to show it to you.