I know you've read a brazillion posts about how to save the Wii U, And I know you are sick of them all. But bear with me for a moment, this one actually makes sense!
What the Wii U needs is a killer app. What the Wii U needs is Jet Grind Radio. Think about it.
The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker showed us that the Wii U's full 1080, 60fps capability makes cel-shaded graphics look gorgeous. What other game was popular for using cel-shaded graphics? Jet Grind Radio. The game will certainly look amazing.
On the Dreamcast days, JGR had a neat graffiti generation tool. You could make customized tags that looked great, in case you got tired of the pre-made ones. But you could go further and go on your computer, edit some graphics, and them import them via the Dreamcast's web browser. Spray-painting silly pictures around town was half the fun. But there's no need for any of this on the Wii U, because of the Gamepad! There's a huge artist community on Miiverse, and if you give them the ability to make cool tags with Gamepad, share them on Miiverse, and use them in-game, they will go crazy!
Of course, when you had chosen your tags for the game, painting them in-game was done by swiping the analog stick. You had to be fast, especially with larger tags, because the cops were always after you. Now imagine the possibilities. Instead of swiping on a stick, you trace lines on the gamepad, and while the gamepad shows your art taking shape, the TV screen shows an over-the shoulder view of the back of the character, so you can keep an eye on incoming cops. ZombiU proved this was a great gameplay mechanic when you had to use the gamepad to unlock doors or fix things while you kept an eye on the big screen for incoming zombies. The more complicated the task, the more you have to focus, the more you have to focus, the easier it is for cops to sneak up on you. Sure, JGR's cops aren't sneaky shambling zombies, but nevertheless it sounds like loads of fun. In JGR the cops would shoot you and try to harm you, but the new version could include cops who walk up to you and if they get their hands on you you'd be arrested and the game ends.
Some have called the Wii U Nintendo's Dreamcast. I can certainly feel the similarities, and I'm willing to wager a lot of Dreamcast fans own Wii U systems, but many more are apprehensive after DC's failure. This move might win many of them over.
JGR featured some awesome music I still listen to today, if SEGA and Nintendo get the right music for this game it will sell itself.
And my final argument: Jet Grind radio was a lot of fun. I'd play that game for hours on end. A fun game is always a safe bet. I'd grind and grind for hours to get the best scores, with no one to show, but now, playing for high scores takes on a new meaning with Miiverse. Again the fun factor is multiplied.
And this is how you save the Wii U. With Jet Grind Radio as a system exclusive.
Saturday, May 24, 2014
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Homodachi Life.
This whole #Miiquality deal reminds me of the time PETA went against Nintendo for Mario's tanooki fur suit.
It's not helping their cause at all.
We're talking about a game made by a bunch of middle-aged Japanese men. They did not push the gays out, they probably didn't notice that they were waiting outside in the first place.
Throw an avalanche of hate in their direction, when they're already in trouble financially, and of course they're going to come out with an awkward, panicked response that can be easily torn apart by the frenzied masses and turned agains them.
They realized that they made a mistake. They did not do it on purpose, but they see it's a big deal. They promised it won't happen again. But the masses are still wielding torches and pitchforks. They want Iwata's head on a plate.
The same thing happened when Anita Sarkeesian called them out on their sexist ways. They listened and they changed. Peach is now a heroine instead of a damsel in distress.
The LGBT community now has an ally in Nintendo. I hope they realize that before they drive them to bankruptcy.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
My Egress from Ingress
Some of you might have heard of this game called Ingress. Lemme tell you about it, from my biased point of view.
The concept is fascinating, really. Google overlays an MMO over Google Maps. Meaning that in order to move your avatar in the game world, you have to move your smartphone in the real world. "Augmented reality" they call it. They tie places of interest in reality to "portals" in-game. You have to go to those portals and claim them. It's fun. Then you trace lines along these portals, and when you form a triangle it's filled in your faction's color, successfully claiming that turf for your loyal faction.
The game features minimalistic graphics, and gives verbal cues to most actions, so that you may play while you walk. Headphones are suggested on the load screen.
"Hold on, m'homie" you may be wondering. "Do I have to get off my couch for this?" you may ask. Yes. Yes you have. You have to get out there, and if you're serious about it, or if you want your faction's approval, you have to get in your car and spend some serious gas money on it. Now, before you run away, I assure you, the game ties in-game locations to places of interest. So you should be leaving your house to see cool places! Every time you play it's an adventure! At least in theory. In reality you will find most portals are garbage. Somehow Google thought it would be good to let users submit portals in order to mine the data and profit by measuring human traffic... but the result was players who wanted more portals started reporting bus stops, lawn ornaments, signs and such as portals, and Google played along. You will spend your day running from uninteresting location to uninteresting location.
"But it sure is worth it, right?" You may ask next. "Capturing all those portals and claiming the land for your faction sounds satisfying!" Sure. Sure it is. Until some jerk from the other faction shows up and claims them. Portals usually last a day or two. You're not meant to keep them forever. It takes a while to realize Ingress is a plate-spinning game. The idea is to have as many going as possible, not to have them all. This can be extremely frustrating if you're outnumbered, or someone in the opposing faction is targeting you or even cheating.
And boy, is there cheating! It's a well known fact that some players play from their couches, spoofing coordinates in a PC running an Android emulator. Targeting large fields and remote portals. These people never seem to get banned. Google provides a nice "intel" page that players may peruse to plan their trips. Some players, however, use forbidden apps that mine this system for extra information, this allows the cheater to virtually stalk other players and harass them. Of course, if you ask these cheaters, they will say they're just hardcore and insist it's OK to break the rules as long as you don't like them.
But then there's those who don't cheat the game, but still have an unfair advantage, and use it to troll other players. I can think of many examples, but some may come off as whiny, so I'll skip to the worst. There is an actual police officer that actively plays while on duty. Pretty much funding his Ingress addiction with taxpayer dollars. He will use his badge to get to hard-to-reach places and will use his uniform to intimidate others. If that doesn't make you want to flip a table, I don't know what will.
"What about the community?" I'm assuming you asked. Well they're OK. You'll meet fun people, and may even organize fun expeditions. But then there's the stalkers, the faction-switchers, the spies... then there's the roleplayers...
Google has made a point to give the game an RPG feel by adding a "backstory". They gave names to the factions and have even established recurring characters that come up in social media posts. Some players play along and that's fine. I'm a fan of RPGs myself. But this is a game that takes place in real life. And it's freaking scary when people do it as part of their regular lives. Some take the grudge between the factions too far and make threatening posts and such. It creates a very hostile environment.
So basically it's everything I hate about an MMO, without any of the things I like about MMOs. Eventually I got tired of coming home late because I had to spin so many plates on my way. I got tired of blocking the creepy players. I got tired of trash talking. I got tired of reporting fake portals. I got tired of visiting lawn ornaments and road signs. I got tired of the endless notifications. I got tired of being antagonized by fucking Robocop. I own many games that are far better and require far less effort. If you need me, I'll be playing Tetris.
The concept is fascinating, really. Google overlays an MMO over Google Maps. Meaning that in order to move your avatar in the game world, you have to move your smartphone in the real world. "Augmented reality" they call it. They tie places of interest in reality to "portals" in-game. You have to go to those portals and claim them. It's fun. Then you trace lines along these portals, and when you form a triangle it's filled in your faction's color, successfully claiming that turf for your loyal faction.
The game features minimalistic graphics, and gives verbal cues to most actions, so that you may play while you walk. Headphones are suggested on the load screen.
"Hold on, m'homie" you may be wondering. "Do I have to get off my couch for this?" you may ask. Yes. Yes you have. You have to get out there, and if you're serious about it, or if you want your faction's approval, you have to get in your car and spend some serious gas money on it. Now, before you run away, I assure you, the game ties in-game locations to places of interest. So you should be leaving your house to see cool places! Every time you play it's an adventure! At least in theory. In reality you will find most portals are garbage. Somehow Google thought it would be good to let users submit portals in order to mine the data and profit by measuring human traffic... but the result was players who wanted more portals started reporting bus stops, lawn ornaments, signs and such as portals, and Google played along. You will spend your day running from uninteresting location to uninteresting location.
"But it sure is worth it, right?" You may ask next. "Capturing all those portals and claiming the land for your faction sounds satisfying!" Sure. Sure it is. Until some jerk from the other faction shows up and claims them. Portals usually last a day or two. You're not meant to keep them forever. It takes a while to realize Ingress is a plate-spinning game. The idea is to have as many going as possible, not to have them all. This can be extremely frustrating if you're outnumbered, or someone in the opposing faction is targeting you or even cheating.
And boy, is there cheating! It's a well known fact that some players play from their couches, spoofing coordinates in a PC running an Android emulator. Targeting large fields and remote portals. These people never seem to get banned. Google provides a nice "intel" page that players may peruse to plan their trips. Some players, however, use forbidden apps that mine this system for extra information, this allows the cheater to virtually stalk other players and harass them. Of course, if you ask these cheaters, they will say they're just hardcore and insist it's OK to break the rules as long as you don't like them.
But then there's those who don't cheat the game, but still have an unfair advantage, and use it to troll other players. I can think of many examples, but some may come off as whiny, so I'll skip to the worst. There is an actual police officer that actively plays while on duty. Pretty much funding his Ingress addiction with taxpayer dollars. He will use his badge to get to hard-to-reach places and will use his uniform to intimidate others. If that doesn't make you want to flip a table, I don't know what will.
"What about the community?" I'm assuming you asked. Well they're OK. You'll meet fun people, and may even organize fun expeditions. But then there's the stalkers, the faction-switchers, the spies... then there's the roleplayers...
Google has made a point to give the game an RPG feel by adding a "backstory". They gave names to the factions and have even established recurring characters that come up in social media posts. Some players play along and that's fine. I'm a fan of RPGs myself. But this is a game that takes place in real life. And it's freaking scary when people do it as part of their regular lives. Some take the grudge between the factions too far and make threatening posts and such. It creates a very hostile environment.
So basically it's everything I hate about an MMO, without any of the things I like about MMOs. Eventually I got tired of coming home late because I had to spin so many plates on my way. I got tired of blocking the creepy players. I got tired of trash talking. I got tired of reporting fake portals. I got tired of visiting lawn ornaments and road signs. I got tired of the endless notifications. I got tired of being antagonized by fucking Robocop. I own many games that are far better and require far less effort. If you need me, I'll be playing Tetris.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
I Fink u Froakie and I Like u Alot
I've never been a Pokemon fan. I never even saw the appeal of it. You go around the world doing horrible things to innocent creatures for fun and the only thing that is at stake is... uh... that someone else may have more pokemon slaves than you. I say slaves instead of pets because I know some of these are sentient.
On the other hand, Pokemon is a pop culture phenomenon that is VERY hard to avoid. I'd seen the cartoons, I'd seen the memes, I even completed the pokedex in the 3DS (I was bored at work)! I'll throw around phrases like "it's super effective" when surrounded by pokemon people, and I'd probably be able to to name quite a few pokemon. One really can't just ignore it, but one sure can try, and try I did; I steered clear of any actual pokemon games for all these years, simply because I knew it'd take up too much of my limited brain capacity.
For the last few weeks, Nintendo ran this promotion where they were giving out a free download code for Pokemon X/Y... It's free dagnabbit, I can't turn down a freebie! So since my son's 3DS is broken, I decided to install it in my 3ds and give it a go. The truth is that I had knocked it before I had tried it, and maybe it deserves a chance.
So here I am, I've played for about an hour... and I still don't get it. What's the point of the entire game? My character is a boy and an unknown man told him to leave home on an adventure! Stranger danger! His mom immediately packed his stuff and sent him off to enslave all the pokemen. I love you too, mom!
I chose Froakie as my starter and named him Freakie (because I'm so froaking clever). I assume I have to walk down the road because there is nowhere else to go. That's my motivation to move forward; because my other option is to stay where I started. You call this an RPG?
So I find a creature in the grass, I tell my creature to beat it up, and if it doesn't quite die I get to keep it and torture it. Hooray! If something interesting doesn't happen soon, I'll erase my save.
So why am I writing this, then? Why not just stop playing now? Because something freaky is going on. I find myself giggling uncontrollably at the references made in-game! I cheer when I see a pokemon I recognize! ...and I feel I have to catch more! This game is tickling that "ooh, I've seen this before" nerve in my brain, and it's all backwards! You're supposed to play this game FIRST, then enjoy the memes, the cartoons, the damn pokedex...
...It's all backwards? Why? What is the meaning of life? What if, this whole thing is just a dream? Maybe there is no reality, and all exists within my head, which only exists because I thought of it.
One thing is certain, this blog only exists in my head, and I'm the only one that reads it. I haven't written in ages and I have so much to say about the Wii U, Bravely Default, and a handful of mobile games. Oh well. I'll write more about this game once I've gotten a few more hours into it.
On the other hand, Pokemon is a pop culture phenomenon that is VERY hard to avoid. I'd seen the cartoons, I'd seen the memes, I even completed the pokedex in the 3DS (I was bored at work)! I'll throw around phrases like "it's super effective" when surrounded by pokemon people, and I'd probably be able to to name quite a few pokemon. One really can't just ignore it, but one sure can try, and try I did; I steered clear of any actual pokemon games for all these years, simply because I knew it'd take up too much of my limited brain capacity.
For the last few weeks, Nintendo ran this promotion where they were giving out a free download code for Pokemon X/Y... It's free dagnabbit, I can't turn down a freebie! So since my son's 3DS is broken, I decided to install it in my 3ds and give it a go. The truth is that I had knocked it before I had tried it, and maybe it deserves a chance.
So here I am, I've played for about an hour... and I still don't get it. What's the point of the entire game? My character is a boy and an unknown man told him to leave home on an adventure! Stranger danger! His mom immediately packed his stuff and sent him off to enslave all the pokemen. I love you too, mom!
I chose Froakie as my starter and named him Freakie (because I'm so froaking clever). I assume I have to walk down the road because there is nowhere else to go. That's my motivation to move forward; because my other option is to stay where I started. You call this an RPG?
So I find a creature in the grass, I tell my creature to beat it up, and if it doesn't quite die I get to keep it and torture it. Hooray! If something interesting doesn't happen soon, I'll erase my save.
So why am I writing this, then? Why not just stop playing now? Because something freaky is going on. I find myself giggling uncontrollably at the references made in-game! I cheer when I see a pokemon I recognize! ...and I feel I have to catch more! This game is tickling that "ooh, I've seen this before" nerve in my brain, and it's all backwards! You're supposed to play this game FIRST, then enjoy the memes, the cartoons, the damn pokedex...
...It's all backwards? Why? What is the meaning of life? What if, this whole thing is just a dream? Maybe there is no reality, and all exists within my head, which only exists because I thought of it.
One thing is certain, this blog only exists in my head, and I'm the only one that reads it. I haven't written in ages and I have so much to say about the Wii U, Bravely Default, and a handful of mobile games. Oh well. I'll write more about this game once I've gotten a few more hours into it.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Watch a GameStop employee make an ass out of himself.
I have decided GameStop no longer deserves my business.
Yesterday I visited a GameStop store because a flyer on their door caught my eye. It said I could get double in-store credit for my game system trade-in. Now, before I entered the store I did some quick math in my brain:
The normal trade-in value for a Nintendo 3DS is about $80.00. I say about because I'm aware prices fluctuate. A new nintendo 3DSXL costs $199.99. Therefore 199.99 - ( 80 * 2) = 39.99. HOLYCRAP! I can upgrade for just 40 bucks? Where do I sign? I rushed inside and asked for the trade-in value of a 3DS under this new promotion. The man kindly said it's about $100.00. Wait a minute! 80 * 2 > 100! I calmly asked; Is the regular trade-in value around $50.00? The man explained the prices fluctuate, which is perfectly understandable, but then he went on. He said something to the effect of "They play with the values a bit before the promotion, but it's still the most we've ever offered." Please note the word he used was "play".
How kind of him. I walked out. I'm not a victim. I was not ripped off. I don't need to sell my 3DS. I don't need a 3DSXL. But I decided to vent online about how I almost fell for the bait and switch, and hopefully an any potential victims. This is what happened:
I posted a screen capture in case they delete the post, but the conversation is still ongoing here.
Now the subject of the post changes entirely. Let's say Ryan Smith (identified as games Advisor for GameStop on his Google+ profile) is absolutely right. Let's say there is no bait and switch and I should be grateful I'm getting double in-store credit. Fine. Why is he verbally abusing me? I'm not just a dude on the internet, I'm a customer at his employer's place of business, therefore I'm HIS customer! I found it particularly disgusting how he used all that hardcore corporate capitalist jargon at the end. His words, to me, represent the thoughts of an entire corporation.
Well, I guess there isn't much left to say, the comments say it all. Feel free to click the link and tell Mr. Smith (or me) how you feel about their trade-in policies and the quality of ther customer service. My point is that I'm not spending another dime on GameStop.
I have placed a complaint with GameStop and will update when they respond.
UPDATE: No answer from GameStop yet. The man has changed his employment status in G+ before denying working there.
Yesterday I visited a GameStop store because a flyer on their door caught my eye. It said I could get double in-store credit for my game system trade-in. Now, before I entered the store I did some quick math in my brain:
The normal trade-in value for a Nintendo 3DS is about $80.00. I say about because I'm aware prices fluctuate. A new nintendo 3DSXL costs $199.99. Therefore 199.99 - ( 80 * 2) = 39.99. HOLYCRAP! I can upgrade for just 40 bucks? Where do I sign? I rushed inside and asked for the trade-in value of a 3DS under this new promotion. The man kindly said it's about $100.00. Wait a minute! 80 * 2 > 100! I calmly asked; Is the regular trade-in value around $50.00? The man explained the prices fluctuate, which is perfectly understandable, but then he went on. He said something to the effect of "They play with the values a bit before the promotion, but it's still the most we've ever offered." Please note the word he used was "play".
How kind of him. I walked out. I'm not a victim. I was not ripped off. I don't need to sell my 3DS. I don't need a 3DSXL. But I decided to vent online about how I almost fell for the bait and switch, and hopefully an any potential victims. This is what happened:
I posted a screen capture in case they delete the post, but the conversation is still ongoing here.
Now the subject of the post changes entirely. Let's say Ryan Smith (identified as games Advisor for GameStop on his Google+ profile) is absolutely right. Let's say there is no bait and switch and I should be grateful I'm getting double in-store credit. Fine. Why is he verbally abusing me? I'm not just a dude on the internet, I'm a customer at his employer's place of business, therefore I'm HIS customer! I found it particularly disgusting how he used all that hardcore corporate capitalist jargon at the end. His words, to me, represent the thoughts of an entire corporation.
Well, I guess there isn't much left to say, the comments say it all. Feel free to click the link and tell Mr. Smith (or me) how you feel about their trade-in policies and the quality of ther customer service. My point is that I'm not spending another dime on GameStop.
I have placed a complaint with GameStop and will update when they respond.
UPDATE: No answer from GameStop yet. The man has changed his employment status in G+ before denying working there.
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