Miitomo walkthrough and strategy guide.

Here's how to beat all your friends at nintendo's first ever smartphone game, Miitomo:

1. It's not a game.
2. You can't win.
3. You can't lose.
4. You're not supposed to play it.

Follow these four easy steps and you will be above the competition! Having any expectation of having "fun" while "playing" Miitomo will ruin it for you. You will "burn out" if you try to "unlock" all the "content". You will realize there is no "reward" to "leveling up".

Miitomo is a social app. Just like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and such! It's used for communicating. The only difference, though, is that it controls the flow of information, and that's a good thing. Less spam! More meaningful conversation!

Alright, here's some actual tips:

1. Answer questions honestly - You can't get to know your friends if they are too busy posting dumb answers to amuse themselves.
2. Make fun miifotos - Miifotos have fgreat potential, share them everywhere!
3. Don't add random people - You don't care what some random person off the internet did last weekend, trust me.
4. Make your mii look like you - miis will move, do facial expresion, and wear different outfits. If your mii has eyebrows for antennae, you're fucking the whole thing up. You asshole.
5. Use proper spelling and grammar - Miis will read posts out loud, please, for the love of iwata, type accordingly!
6. Everybody likes pizza - I'm pretty sure there's a more interesting dish that you like.
7. Check the app maybe once or twice a day, or you'll burn out - IT'S NOT A GAME!
8. Start conversations - don't just comment "same!" Share your thoughts! And not just your answer to the same question! Sheesh!

I'm too old for Splatoon, but I can't stop playing.

I've been hella busy lately, so here's a quick update on Splatoon:

So. being the bona-fide Nintendo fanboy that I am, I was quite exited to hear about Splatoon. But I was cautiously optimistic. I thought it had the potential to be a hit, but it would certainly not be for me.

Then they released the "testfire" stress test/demo, and I had to give it a try. Not only was the game lots of fun, but I was actually quite good at it! Then there was another test, and I was kicking ass! So of course I wanted the game!

Nintendo had made a formula in which casual players could be good at a competitive first person shooter! And it's an awesome game!

Then came the updates. They added new weapons, and new maps, each more complex and harder to master. And that was a problem. I was falling behind. I was great with the newbie weapons, and I knew the newbie maps like the back of my hand, but the kids with the fast reflexes and the zero responsibilities started gaining an advantage. Things get so intense I end up with a headache if i play too long. Yep. it's no longer a relaxing activity.

So here I am, with twelve-year-old kids running circles around me. Aching to play with adults. I tried for about 6 months to form a regular "squad". For a few weeks I had a "regular group", and as we played it would turn out they were little kids too.

To this day, none of my friends play the game, either. Not even those who have it!

So I think the problem with this IP is that Nintendo made it too focused towards millennials. And it's a shame because it's a great game. I still have hopes that they perfect the ranking and matchmaking algorithms so that I don't have a stroke playing this game.